get on up, it's blogsled time!
I don't know how this is the first time I thought to write that. I know it's not my first cool runnings reference but I'm a bit embarrassed that it took me this long to get this specific phrase in. I apologize sincerely to you all.
My butt scrape is now in this awkward phase where it's starting to get kind of itchy but it also kind hurts and it bleeds sometimes too. Stupid varied healing stages, messing with my head. A fair amount of my class saw it today during my butt touching class where I touched some peoples butts and my butt got touched by some people. One guy asked what I did to myself and, in an effort to keep myself alienated form my peers as much as possible, I said "I fell." The key to having friends when you're really not interesting and you have nothing to offer is to keep the intrigue so people are still interested in you. Once you let them in it's all over. I've become really self-deprecating lately. I think it's some sort of subconscious effort to feign modesty because if I just talked about how awesome I am (which I still do fairly often, as you know if you are a regular reader) then everyone would hate me. Gotta find that happy medium of manic state and depression. Again, in an effort to keep the intrigue. MTV True Life- I think it's more fun if nothing I do is serious or genuine. I'll need a catchier title than that.
Of all the things from college that I have brought to college2.0, I think what I am missing most is real life mode. It's time I initiated real life mode missouri edition. It would be much easier if Cameron was here, because then I wouldn't have to explain anything, because I could just say "I know I don't get it either but he did it and it's really funny so just go with it." I guess it's up to me to keep pretending like I'm in college. Actually, scratch that. I just had an epiphany. I'm keeping it to myself. Mainly because it was a stupid epiphany.
I kind of wonder how many regular readers I actually have at this point. Am I just writing this for Tim and Brit at this point? It would be very helpful to know who is reading this so I can cater it to those people. I'm happy to just type in German voice if it's just Tim. Zat wut be so graet eef you coot tell me eef you ahr reading zis ya? Actually that's really hard, sorry Tim. I can't do that. I'll try one german accent haiku though.
zis is ze hi-koo
zis languije is so silly
ze german is goot.
That was really hard. I have no idea what people impersonating bavarian stereotypes like to say. And that is why I would like to introduce a new segment called "German haiku with Tim." It will be in the comments section sometime in the next 24 hours and I will be implementing it retroactively in future blogs. I have reason to believe that that last sentence made no sense, so let me try to explain this further in the next paragraph.
The first installment of "german haiku with tim" will be in this post's comment section. All future installments of "german haiku with tim" will be edited into the end of my blog when I see that Tim has written a german sounding haiku in the comments section. Now, this is kind of a huge leap of faith on my part, assuming that Tim is going to even do this once let alone multiple times in the future, but I have faith in green thumb. I'd let him doctor my lawn, if you know what I mean.
They call me the blogger that is skeptical that he still has an audience. (see anna [if you still read this]? Ugly pictures of me are funny because I'm good looking. The same goes for you. Isn't it nice being this attractive? I love myself)
I don't know how this is the first time I thought to write that. I know it's not my first cool runnings reference but I'm a bit embarrassed that it took me this long to get this specific phrase in. I apologize sincerely to you all.
My butt scrape is now in this awkward phase where it's starting to get kind of itchy but it also kind hurts and it bleeds sometimes too. Stupid varied healing stages, messing with my head. A fair amount of my class saw it today during my butt touching class where I touched some peoples butts and my butt got touched by some people. One guy asked what I did to myself and, in an effort to keep myself alienated form my peers as much as possible, I said "I fell." The key to having friends when you're really not interesting and you have nothing to offer is to keep the intrigue so people are still interested in you. Once you let them in it's all over. I've become really self-deprecating lately. I think it's some sort of subconscious effort to feign modesty because if I just talked about how awesome I am (which I still do fairly often, as you know if you are a regular reader) then everyone would hate me. Gotta find that happy medium of manic state and depression. Again, in an effort to keep the intrigue. MTV True Life- I think it's more fun if nothing I do is serious or genuine. I'll need a catchier title than that.
Of all the things from college that I have brought to college2.0, I think what I am missing most is real life mode. It's time I initiated real life mode missouri edition. It would be much easier if Cameron was here, because then I wouldn't have to explain anything, because I could just say "I know I don't get it either but he did it and it's really funny so just go with it." I guess it's up to me to keep pretending like I'm in college. Actually, scratch that. I just had an epiphany. I'm keeping it to myself. Mainly because it was a stupid epiphany.
I kind of wonder how many regular readers I actually have at this point. Am I just writing this for Tim and Brit at this point? It would be very helpful to know who is reading this so I can cater it to those people. I'm happy to just type in German voice if it's just Tim. Zat wut be so graet eef you coot tell me eef you ahr reading zis ya? Actually that's really hard, sorry Tim. I can't do that. I'll try one german accent haiku though.
zis is ze hi-koo
zis languije is so silly
ze german is goot.
That was really hard. I have no idea what people impersonating bavarian stereotypes like to say. And that is why I would like to introduce a new segment called "German haiku with Tim." It will be in the comments section sometime in the next 24 hours and I will be implementing it retroactively in future blogs. I have reason to believe that that last sentence made no sense, so let me try to explain this further in the next paragraph.
The first installment of "german haiku with tim" will be in this post's comment section. All future installments of "german haiku with tim" will be edited into the end of my blog when I see that Tim has written a german sounding haiku in the comments section. Now, this is kind of a huge leap of faith on my part, assuming that Tim is going to even do this once let alone multiple times in the future, but I have faith in green thumb. I'd let him doctor my lawn, if you know what I mean.
They call me the blogger that is skeptical that he still has an audience. (see anna [if you still read this]? Ugly pictures of me are funny because I'm good looking. The same goes for you. Isn't it nice being this attractive? I love myself)
![the blogger that is skeptical that he still has an audience. (see anna [if you still read this]? Ugly pictures of me are funny because I'm good looking. The same goes for you. Isn't it nice being this attractive? I love myself)](http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/47812_462638266182_606796182_7173146_1646849_n.jpg){kind=link}
eet vould be so GRAYT
ReplyDeleteif ze kitty litter smelled
less like ze sheisse.
in an attempt to cater to the masses, who all have cats and think about this sentiment constantly, and to go along with the trend of drew's blog having no real theme ever, i wrote this german haiku about something that is completely irrelevant. also, some of you may be questioning syllables in line 3. sheisse is pronounced "SHY-suh," and means "shit," as in, "boy those chalupa's are hitting me hard. I really need to scheisse."
you are all welcome for the explanation. look forward to the next installment of "ze doing of ze haiku viss ze man zey call ze grayt physical serapy shtudent, ja!"
auf wiedersehen, fuckers.
Even though you didn't ask for it,
ReplyDeleteI will my add my own haiku.
It is called "chinese haiku with shaq".
Hi, my name is Shaq.
I can speak Chinese.
I prefer
Quatrains.
i too follow this blog, not as religiously as tim, but i do ze following of ze blog
ReplyDelete