hey missouri people

I'm gonna start whisper screaming at all of you starting on tuesday evening when I return.  Don't be scurred when I sweet you.  You might not like it at first, but you'll come around.  Just like you did to me.  Pretty soon you will all be C-ing each other and Bo Biceing and stuff and people around you will think you're weird but some people you talk to will kinda think it's funny and when they say something that you know you're gonna "sweet" them for they'll end their sentence with "and don't sweet me eitha"  in a boston accent like that and that's how I will know that my job is complete and I will slowly fade into nothingness and the rest of you will just keep on shanking people and having eye contact battles and whisper screaming "SWEEt" at people and somehow you will give people norwood accents when they say "either" and I will be looking down on you will from somewhere, but really only figuratively because, let's be honest, if heaven exists it's not really a location up in the sky it's much more abstract than that and people have just used the whole "up above" thing because fluffy clouds seem much nicer than stuff like crude oil and lava that comes out of the earth and concepts like the afterlife are really only graspable to the general public as earthly metaphors because we just don't have the ability as a species to imagine brand new things that we have never encountered and that's probably why we'll never encounter aliens because they could be a whole new form of life that we've never seen before kinda like my genie's nitrogen based life and we wouldn't even know what to look for because maybe life in other galaxies and stuff doesn't even follow the same rules as ours does because maybe they have completely different atoms and stuff.

And don't sweet me eithah.