Well guys, today I'm leaving for Kansas after soccer this afternoon, so I figured I would get in a post before I went out for all of your sakes. I just have a few things to talk about. But I really like one of them. I'm gonna start with that one.
Did you know they make flavored exam gloves? For real. For little kids and stuff I guess. Apparently regular latex tastes really bad. I think if I walked into a doctor's office and saw that he had a bunch of different flavored gloves on his desk I would just turn around and leave right away, like that time at the Shluge's party. Also, I think if I walked into a doctor's office and she had a bunch of different flavored gloves in her desk I would ask about it, and then probably still leave. Actually I might ask to try one, just to see. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but the worst it's ever done for me is embarrassment. Do you think they taste like jolly ranchers or something? Do you think they're made in the same place as flavored condoms? Do you think they ever made like a glove-condom hybrid? Like with roll up fingers, kinda like those mitten/glove hobo things, but instead of flipping the mitten part up they have the fingers roll out. Like individual finger mitten things. Is this making sense? Also I'm clearly gonna need some of those hobo gloves for winter blogging. Someone help me with that. BUY ME THINGS READERS.
Today in class, I was playing with my gum to entertain myself. I like squeezed it between my lips so it stuck to both my lips and like stretched out and stuff (ya dig [by the way that's Logan speak for "that's what she said"]). I felt like Neo in the matrix when he wants his phone call and the Matrix guy tells him "how are you going to make a phone call if you are unable to speaK? And he says that really hard K and sounds like a big douche, and then neo's mouth starts to like fuse together.
If we didn't have mouth openings, do you think it would be possible to eat through your nose? Like if surgical intervention weren't possible do you think somebody could just like huck food lugies through their nose and swallow? I mean, assuming we still had all the internal mouth structures somehow. I know this is a weird hypothetical but I think this is a relevant question to the narrative of this blog. Don't ask annoying questions like "what kind of trauma or disease would get you that problem Drew?" just think about it. No mouth hole, no surgery possible. How much food do you think you could eat through your nose? Really. Would you just have to be continuously "eating" stuff? probably right? That's a competition I want to see. I'm gonna start making some calls. NEF=nose eating federation. Expect a huge contract with ESPN in the next few years. I feel something huge coming. Ok that was just a fart, but really this is a good idea.
Here's your latest installment of "out of context one-liners"
-ya, I have a question. Are you shitting me?
That's it for today. Here's your haiku.
when you next chew gum
try to get it in your mouth
through nasopharynx
See you guys Monday, or maybe Sunday evening. Herro Kansas.
Did you know they make flavored exam gloves? For real. For little kids and stuff I guess. Apparently regular latex tastes really bad. I think if I walked into a doctor's office and saw that he had a bunch of different flavored gloves on his desk I would just turn around and leave right away, like that time at the Shluge's party. Also, I think if I walked into a doctor's office and she had a bunch of different flavored gloves in her desk I would ask about it, and then probably still leave. Actually I might ask to try one, just to see. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but the worst it's ever done for me is embarrassment. Do you think they taste like jolly ranchers or something? Do you think they're made in the same place as flavored condoms? Do you think they ever made like a glove-condom hybrid? Like with roll up fingers, kinda like those mitten/glove hobo things, but instead of flipping the mitten part up they have the fingers roll out. Like individual finger mitten things. Is this making sense? Also I'm clearly gonna need some of those hobo gloves for winter blogging. Someone help me with that. BUY ME THINGS READERS.
Today in class, I was playing with my gum to entertain myself. I like squeezed it between my lips so it stuck to both my lips and like stretched out and stuff (ya dig [by the way that's Logan speak for "that's what she said"]). I felt like Neo in the matrix when he wants his phone call and the Matrix guy tells him "how are you going to make a phone call if you are unable to speaK? And he says that really hard K and sounds like a big douche, and then neo's mouth starts to like fuse together.
Here's your latest installment of "out of context one-liners"
-ya, I have a question. Are you shitting me?
That's it for today. Here's your haiku.
when you next chew gum
try to get it in your mouth
through nasopharynx
See you guys Monday, or maybe Sunday evening. Herro Kansas.
Drew, this is a great post and i couldn't agree with you more about the flavored gloves..weird..just plain weird, but nose eating is probably the worst idea ever. I'm not sure if this has ever happened to you but there have been plenty of times where I have been eating and laughed and some of my food went into my nose. gotta be one of the worst/painful/ awkward feelings i have ever experienced. i had at least 1/64th of an eggroll stuck in my nose for at least 11 minutes and it sucked.
ReplyDeleteenjoy kansas