Well everyone welcome to my first blog of september. If you had told me way back in mid june when I started this thing that I would still be going strong in september, I would probably have believed you but been kind of disappointed in myself. So much self-hatred.
I was thinking the other day about what I would wish for if I had a genie and 3 wishes. By the way, why is it always three? That seems pretty stingy, genie. You have unlimited power and I go through all the trouble of going into the desert and into that lion's mouth to find your lamp (by the way, that thing looks nothing like any lamp I've ever seen) and you're gonna limit me to 3 things? Weak.
But anyway, back to my 3 wishes. I couldn't decide if I would commit one or two wishes to the greater good of humanity. I mean, one is pretty good right? Plus, what do I wish for? No more AIDS or something? It seems like any wish along those lines would majorly change the course of history, and I don't think I'm ready to accept those consequences. Like if you wish for the end of all diseases, then we massively overpopulate the earth, strip it of its resources and then we all die anyway. If you wish for the end of starvation and you're not specific enough as to how, then does my genie like change metabolism as we know it and then the food industry goes under and then millions of people lose their jobs and now I've caused a major economic disaster. Do we still need plants? What about oxygen? I've just changed the world from carbon based life to nitrogen based life all willy nilly and now we have to deal with the consequences. World peace? you know genie is just gonna turn us all into apathetic stoner types and then we'll never get anything done. And if I wish for unlimited money for myself, do I cause major inflation and the eventual collapse of the dollar? Maybe I could just ask for it in euros, but then I have to exchange all my money. Dude, this is stressful, and I don't want any more wishes. I think I'll just free the genie in exchange for him helping me out occasionally. Me and genie can just be buds. magic is scary.
Based on that paragraph i think it's clear that I need to get back to school and start doing something useful. It seems like kinda a long time since I left missouri. I think I'm too old to live at home now. I can see why people used to be adults at like 13 throughout history, and not just because everyone died at like 35. It's weird how long we spend with our parents now. Other animals don't do this stuff. Other animals try to eat their kids. Don't like Nemo fool you kids, fish don't know their parents. salmon die after they lay their eggs. Question-do animals get kuru when they eat their babies? Based on my 45 second google search, I guess not. In a related note, there's a shoe company called Kuru. Bad company name bro. rule of thumb, don't name your company after a disease associated with cannibalism.
I have decided that I'm gonna be super productive next semester. Not productive to a point where I can't sit still for more than 45 seconds (you know who you are) but like productive to a point where I don't watch internet TV and eat a roll and a half of ritz crackers every day. On a related note I'm gonna stop eating so much crap. Not literal crap, but you get what I mean. Call these my "school year's resolutions" because school is pretty close to rhyming with new and I like puns.
I haven't done very many segments recently. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I'm gonna give you all a color of the day for old times' sake. That is the correct apostrophe placement right? The sake of old times? Anyway, your color of the day is parchment color
I like books. Third school year's resolution--keep reading books. Also shower right after exercise. I think I can do all of those things.
Here's your haiku to take you into Sunday afternoon
magic is way cool
till you control history.
I'm unqualified.
I don't know if punctuation is proper haiku form but my desire to google it is low so we're gonna stick with it.
Also shoutout to Brad because it's your birthday today, even though you don't read this. Hey, a guy can hope right? And no, I'm not talking about the Brad. We've been defriended for a long time now.
At some point I'm gonna start a record collection. I think that would be a cool collection to have. Records and old books. I don't think I've ever even heard a record play music. That's pretty lame. My future house will be decorated with records, skateboarding pictures, and hopefully a healthy stack of broken decks. I can't wait to be cool dad.
There are no good pictures on google for cool dad
I was thinking the other day about what I would wish for if I had a genie and 3 wishes. By the way, why is it always three? That seems pretty stingy, genie. You have unlimited power and I go through all the trouble of going into the desert and into that lion's mouth to find your lamp (by the way, that thing looks nothing like any lamp I've ever seen) and you're gonna limit me to 3 things? Weak.
But anyway, back to my 3 wishes. I couldn't decide if I would commit one or two wishes to the greater good of humanity. I mean, one is pretty good right? Plus, what do I wish for? No more AIDS or something? It seems like any wish along those lines would majorly change the course of history, and I don't think I'm ready to accept those consequences. Like if you wish for the end of all diseases, then we massively overpopulate the earth, strip it of its resources and then we all die anyway. If you wish for the end of starvation and you're not specific enough as to how, then does my genie like change metabolism as we know it and then the food industry goes under and then millions of people lose their jobs and now I've caused a major economic disaster. Do we still need plants? What about oxygen? I've just changed the world from carbon based life to nitrogen based life all willy nilly and now we have to deal with the consequences. World peace? you know genie is just gonna turn us all into apathetic stoner types and then we'll never get anything done. And if I wish for unlimited money for myself, do I cause major inflation and the eventual collapse of the dollar? Maybe I could just ask for it in euros, but then I have to exchange all my money. Dude, this is stressful, and I don't want any more wishes. I think I'll just free the genie in exchange for him helping me out occasionally. Me and genie can just be buds. magic is scary.
Based on that paragraph i think it's clear that I need to get back to school and start doing something useful. It seems like kinda a long time since I left missouri. I think I'm too old to live at home now. I can see why people used to be adults at like 13 throughout history, and not just because everyone died at like 35. It's weird how long we spend with our parents now. Other animals don't do this stuff. Other animals try to eat their kids. Don't like Nemo fool you kids, fish don't know their parents. salmon die after they lay their eggs. Question-do animals get kuru when they eat their babies? Based on my 45 second google search, I guess not. In a related note, there's a shoe company called Kuru. Bad company name bro. rule of thumb, don't name your company after a disease associated with cannibalism.
I have decided that I'm gonna be super productive next semester. Not productive to a point where I can't sit still for more than 45 seconds (you know who you are) but like productive to a point where I don't watch internet TV and eat a roll and a half of ritz crackers every day. On a related note I'm gonna stop eating so much crap. Not literal crap, but you get what I mean. Call these my "school year's resolutions" because school is pretty close to rhyming with new and I like puns.
I haven't done very many segments recently. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I'm gonna give you all a color of the day for old times' sake. That is the correct apostrophe placement right? The sake of old times? Anyway, your color of the day is parchment color
Here's your haiku to take you into Sunday afternoon
magic is way cool
till you control history.
I'm unqualified.
I don't know if punctuation is proper haiku form but my desire to google it is low so we're gonna stick with it.
Also shoutout to Brad because it's your birthday today, even though you don't read this. Hey, a guy can hope right? And no, I'm not talking about the Brad. We've been defriended for a long time now.
At some point I'm gonna start a record collection. I think that would be a cool collection to have. Records and old books. I don't think I've ever even heard a record play music. That's pretty lame. My future house will be decorated with records, skateboarding pictures, and hopefully a healthy stack of broken decks. I can't wait to be cool dad.
There are no good pictures on google for cool dad
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