sunday, sunday. tim, I will talk about grave digger whenever I want. I may have never gone to a monster truck rally but I have dug my fair share of graves. One time when I was a kid we found a dead chipmunk and we had a funeral for it. We put it in a box and dug a hole. We also put my cat down and buried it in the back yard. No veterinarians were involved. I was a ruthless child. I was a mini white mike tyson, lisp included. My style was impetuous. My defense was impregnable. I wanted to eat other children.
By the way, what's the chances Tyson actually knew what impetuous means? I have a feeling he was coached. On a related note (which for once is actually somewhat related), I watched the ortiz mayweather fight last night. Hilarious ending. Let me recap the last 3 blows of the match for you: headbutt, sucker punch, sucker punch. Yay boxing! Mayweather's interview at the end was unreal too. just watch the last 30 seconds, then stay tuned for my analysis because we all know that's what all you fans are here to see.
Here is my favorite part about the video, and I know it won't be everyone else's favorite part. Obviously hearing an old guy talk about kicking somebody's ass 50 years ago is fantastic, but here's my favorite part. Here is the beginning of the question that sent mayweather off. "You were in charge of the fight, you were aggressive, and taking advantage of what you saw." ITS A COMPLEMENT BRO. when people tell you that you were good, you typically don't tell them that they should be fired.
"hey Drew good job on your test you got an A..."
"You know what professor, you don't ever give me a fair shake. Logan needs to fire your ass, you don't know shit about physiology"
"now you have an F"
I know that in context it wasn't really a compliment but I figure only like 1/3 of you would actually watch the video.
Yesterday we went to pirate festival. it was awesome. sawesome. sauce them. it was cool. We got to watch old women belly dance, I got another huge turkey leg, we took pictures on the king and queen's thrones, and I did my first plank. I definitely overplanked by like 15 degrees, but better to overplank than underplank, that's what I always say. I've never said that before. If you get the chance to go to a pirate/renaissance festival, DO IT. you won't be mad about it. People dressed up in ridiculous clothes, songs about pirate con, fake french princesses in exorbitantly wide dresses, the works. It was pretty dope. Bravo, wentzville. Bravo.
Today's blog is probably a little too centered around my life this weekend, but I'm gonna continue because this story is too good to pass up. My friend bought a baby pig on Friday. so far it doesn't have a real name, and it's terrified of people except for me. Well, it's still scared of me just less so than it is of everyone else. This thing tolerates me so much that I was actually given a nickname, and not one that I gave to myself. they call me THE PIG WHISPERER. I literally held the pig for like 4 hours so it wouldn't squeal. the last time I tried to hold a human baby it cried and I freaked out and gave it back to its mom. the last time I held a pig I dominated. I think this means something but I don't know what yet. Maybe I am manbearpig? half man, half bearpig. or perhaps half pig, half manbear. either way, keep al gore away from me.
I thought for the past 10 minutes or so that I didn't poop yesterday but now I remembered that I did.
I like to hold pigs
to keep them from squealing loud
rub the occiput.
for real though, they do call me the pig whisperer.
By the way, what's the chances Tyson actually knew what impetuous means? I have a feeling he was coached. On a related note (which for once is actually somewhat related), I watched the ortiz mayweather fight last night. Hilarious ending. Let me recap the last 3 blows of the match for you: headbutt, sucker punch, sucker punch. Yay boxing! Mayweather's interview at the end was unreal too. just watch the last 30 seconds, then stay tuned for my analysis because we all know that's what all you fans are here to see.
Here is my favorite part about the video, and I know it won't be everyone else's favorite part. Obviously hearing an old guy talk about kicking somebody's ass 50 years ago is fantastic, but here's my favorite part. Here is the beginning of the question that sent mayweather off. "You were in charge of the fight, you were aggressive, and taking advantage of what you saw." ITS A COMPLEMENT BRO. when people tell you that you were good, you typically don't tell them that they should be fired.
"hey Drew good job on your test you got an A..."
"You know what professor, you don't ever give me a fair shake. Logan needs to fire your ass, you don't know shit about physiology"
"now you have an F"
I know that in context it wasn't really a compliment but I figure only like 1/3 of you would actually watch the video.
Yesterday we went to pirate festival. it was awesome. sawesome. sauce them. it was cool. We got to watch old women belly dance, I got another huge turkey leg, we took pictures on the king and queen's thrones, and I did my first plank. I definitely overplanked by like 15 degrees, but better to overplank than underplank, that's what I always say. I've never said that before. If you get the chance to go to a pirate/renaissance festival, DO IT. you won't be mad about it. People dressed up in ridiculous clothes, songs about pirate con, fake french princesses in exorbitantly wide dresses, the works. It was pretty dope. Bravo, wentzville. Bravo.
Today's blog is probably a little too centered around my life this weekend, but I'm gonna continue because this story is too good to pass up. My friend bought a baby pig on Friday. so far it doesn't have a real name, and it's terrified of people except for me. Well, it's still scared of me just less so than it is of everyone else. This thing tolerates me so much that I was actually given a nickname, and not one that I gave to myself. they call me THE PIG WHISPERER. I literally held the pig for like 4 hours so it wouldn't squeal. the last time I tried to hold a human baby it cried and I freaked out and gave it back to its mom. the last time I held a pig I dominated. I think this means something but I don't know what yet. Maybe I am manbearpig? half man, half bearpig. or perhaps half pig, half manbear. either way, keep al gore away from me.
I thought for the past 10 minutes or so that I didn't poop yesterday but now I remembered that I did.
I like to hold pigs
to keep them from squealing loud
rub the occiput.
for real though, they do call me the pig whisperer.
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