So I have some bad news everyone.  My ipod got stolen out of my car last night.  I'm pretty upset about it.  Me and that ipod go way back to spring 2010.  If my calculations are correct, that's like 10 electronic gadget years.  ipods age way faster than dogs.  electronic dogs age exponentially faster.  I don't make up the rules, I just let everyone know about them. 

I'm being told that I do make up the rules.  Ok, good to know.  I like this more and more every day.

But back to my ipod.  I would like to give a shout out to the upstanding citizen who took advantage of me forgetting to lock my car at alex's house last night.  Not only did you steal my ipod and toss all the stuff out of my glove box, you also appear to have got about $1.37 in spare change.  enjoy your medium sized slurpee while looking through the pictures of my grandpa's birthday party.  I hope you get really bad diarrhea.

By the way, that is the most useful thing I have learned so far from 2 semesters of microbiology.  I can spell diarrhea now.  There are apparently a lot of words that have an "rrh" in them. diarrhea, hemorrhage, and that's all i can think of.  But that's two more than I knew how to spell a year ago.  yay grad school!

I would also like to take this time to describe the "fashion show" that I went to last night.  I was kinda psyched to be at this sketchy zoolander-esque underground walkoff with a bunch of weird fashion people.  I wore nice pants because I was told to dress nice.  When we get to our destination, I notice that we're at a strip mall.  Instant disappointment.  Turns out we were just going to this store where there would be some girls in clothes with tags on them walking between two rows of foldup chairs with everybody's moms watching.  Also there was lemonade.  I ate some fruit and then we left and got some crappy nachos at the "mexican" place across the street.  So I was kind of upset.  And then my ipod got stolen.  Solid thursday night in missouri. 

Ha I'm being a huge downer right now.  Did I mention that I got kicked in the nuts and then all my friends told me that they don't actually like me and my parents told me that I'm actually adopted and they don't wanna talk to me anymore and a tiny cloud has been following me around and raining on me everywhere I go?  I really need a vacation

I'm gonna write a heartfelt haiku about my ipod now.  I miss you buddy.

ipod got stolen
we had so many good times
time to replace you.

I'm toying with the idea of sending this guy an e-mail, because my email is on my ipod.  I don't know how worried I should be about him messing with my stuff.  He's probably deleted most of my stuff by now right?  Is there anybody that's like super techy out there who knows how to track IP addresses and stuff?  Maybe I can play a game of words with friends with myself and see if he'll respond.  Maybe we can have a fruitful internet relationship or something.  That would be weird.  I'm gonna send that movie idea to Tom Hanks or something.  I think that would make a good movie plot.  Dude steals ipod, starts emailing the guy he stole it from and then they become friends?  That's pure gold.  So many ways to take that.  Time to start writing a screenplay.  Thanks for stealing my ipod bro, I think you just made me like a billion dollars.

I've had to pee really bad the whole time I've been writing this.  My commitment knows no bounds.

They call me gilligan