Today it looked like I peed out of my butt.
Now I will tell you the story about why that was the case. So I was getting my car tuned up at the Honda place, studying like the responsible student I'm known to be. Then I thought to myself, "PIZZA." So I looked up the closest non-st. louis style pizza place and I packed up my stuff and walked myself down the road to the pizza hut. There I ordered and ate my pizza while learning about all kinds of disgusting pathologies. And flinch I did not. As I was about to leave, I refilled my water bottle, put the cap on tight and put it back in my backpack. On the way home, I had my headphones in, but some 17-20 year old male yelled something out of his car at me. I did not understand his words. But in hindsight, it was probably something along the lines of "YOU LOOK LIKE YOU PEED OUT OF YOUR BUTT." So I finally get back to the honda place and I realize that my legs feel wet. I grab my backpack and think to myself "wet." I then remove my backpack to find that there is a big ole puddle in my bag and it has been dripping down onto my legs via my butt. And that is the story of how I did not pee out of my butt, but it must have looked to people who saw me walking that I, in fact, did have some sort of butt pee incident.
By the way, don't google "butt pee." It's not what you think. Or maybe it is. I don't know just don't do it.
Finals start for real tomorrow, which means I will probably be blogging more than usual if this trend holds up. I do not understand why finals always means I have so much free time, but I think this is why I love finals week. It's full of actual learning and then down time that I actually feel like I earned. If I learned all the time at the rate that I do during finals week I would have already learned everything. And not just for my DC program either. I mean literally EVERYTHING. If only I didnt have to waste 7 hours a day pretending to listen to people talk at me. Zat wut be so grayt. Stupid classrom requirements. Just stifling my productivity left and right. In like 400 years when people actually figure out how to do things well, there will be an option in school for them to just give you a massive stack of papers and tell you "learn all this by the end of the semester," and reincarnated Drew will choo choo choose that option every time. And then he will watch a lot of internet TV and have no social interactions with people, and he will turn into this, just without the beard because he will not be able to grow one either. It's only fair.
This thought came into my head today. After I graduate, I have to do a semester internship for my masters program. The thought briefly came into my head to do it at UD, and that I could always just sublet for somebody studying abroad. And then I remembered that I would be 24 living with a bunch of 19 and 20 year old kids. And that would SUCK. Remember how gross it was living with 19 and 20 year olds when you were that old and they were your friends? How long do you think it would be before my brain just exploded? like 3 weeks? I'd be like hey guys any chance you wanna clean up the puke from the party last week? and they'd be like "I did clean it up" and I'd be like "no, you put it in the bathtub and then the drain clogged and so it's still there." "not my problem bro. hey can you buy us beer?" That's as far as I got before I made myself stop thinking about it so I wouldn't get mad at my hypothetical underage roommates two years from now, meaning they are now probably seniors in high school. AAaaaaaaaaaand I'm old.
OK well its time to go work out I guess so my fat stops growing and I can actually sleep tonight. I get to sleep till like 8 tomorrow. I love finals week. Here's your haiku
no lecture for me
take tests real fast then go read
try not to butt pee
boom all 3 lines rhymed. killed that haiku. They call me hashimoto because I am the primary cause of hypothyroidism in the US
Now I will tell you the story about why that was the case. So I was getting my car tuned up at the Honda place, studying like the responsible student I'm known to be. Then I thought to myself, "PIZZA." So I looked up the closest non-st. louis style pizza place and I packed up my stuff and walked myself down the road to the pizza hut. There I ordered and ate my pizza while learning about all kinds of disgusting pathologies. And flinch I did not. As I was about to leave, I refilled my water bottle, put the cap on tight and put it back in my backpack. On the way home, I had my headphones in, but some 17-20 year old male yelled something out of his car at me. I did not understand his words. But in hindsight, it was probably something along the lines of "YOU LOOK LIKE YOU PEED OUT OF YOUR BUTT." So I finally get back to the honda place and I realize that my legs feel wet. I grab my backpack and think to myself "wet." I then remove my backpack to find that there is a big ole puddle in my bag and it has been dripping down onto my legs via my butt. And that is the story of how I did not pee out of my butt, but it must have looked to people who saw me walking that I, in fact, did have some sort of butt pee incident.
By the way, don't google "butt pee." It's not what you think. Or maybe it is. I don't know just don't do it.
Finals start for real tomorrow, which means I will probably be blogging more than usual if this trend holds up. I do not understand why finals always means I have so much free time, but I think this is why I love finals week. It's full of actual learning and then down time that I actually feel like I earned. If I learned all the time at the rate that I do during finals week I would have already learned everything. And not just for my DC program either. I mean literally EVERYTHING. If only I didnt have to waste 7 hours a day pretending to listen to people talk at me. Zat wut be so grayt. Stupid classrom requirements. Just stifling my productivity left and right. In like 400 years when people actually figure out how to do things well, there will be an option in school for them to just give you a massive stack of papers and tell you "learn all this by the end of the semester," and reincarnated Drew will choo choo choose that option every time. And then he will watch a lot of internet TV and have no social interactions with people, and he will turn into this, just without the beard because he will not be able to grow one either. It's only fair.
This thought came into my head today. After I graduate, I have to do a semester internship for my masters program. The thought briefly came into my head to do it at UD, and that I could always just sublet for somebody studying abroad. And then I remembered that I would be 24 living with a bunch of 19 and 20 year old kids. And that would SUCK. Remember how gross it was living with 19 and 20 year olds when you were that old and they were your friends? How long do you think it would be before my brain just exploded? like 3 weeks? I'd be like hey guys any chance you wanna clean up the puke from the party last week? and they'd be like "I did clean it up" and I'd be like "no, you put it in the bathtub and then the drain clogged and so it's still there." "not my problem bro. hey can you buy us beer?" That's as far as I got before I made myself stop thinking about it so I wouldn't get mad at my hypothetical underage roommates two years from now, meaning they are now probably seniors in high school. AAaaaaaaaaaand I'm old.
OK well its time to go work out I guess so my fat stops growing and I can actually sleep tonight. I get to sleep till like 8 tomorrow. I love finals week. Here's your haiku
no lecture for me
take tests real fast then go read
try not to butt pee
boom all 3 lines rhymed. killed that haiku. They call me hashimoto because I am the primary cause of hypothyroidism in the US
Y U NO POST NEW BLOG!
ReplyDelete