sunday sunday

Good day everyone.  I say good day because it's technically still morning here in missouri for another 2 minutes but I don't want to offend those of you who are on the east coast and clearly are now in the afternoon.  I would hate to inappropriately greet any of you.  So good day.  I said good day.

Finals start this week.  Friday.  It's about to go down.  But before finals start, I would like to show you my new favorite goal of all time.  I put it on facebook yesterday but I feel like I owe it a long-winded and hyperbolic breakdown.  So here we go.

For whatever reason I think it's even funnier to watch this goal in what appears to be Turkish?  I have no explanation why, but Turkish is just kinda funny to me.  Does anyone know what turkish delight is?  I'm gonna go ahead and google it and see what it looks like.  Hold please.  Well.  That does not help at all.  Oh you mean it's cubes with white powder on it?  I completely understand what that is now! Thank you so much.  But now onto the goal.

I'll hit the obvious point first.  He's black.  Now that we got that out of the way, can you honestly believe that goal?  The score is 4-1 in the 89th minute, and the game is clearly done for, so what do you do?  Shoulder in a ball that's already going in and try to intimidate the net off of the goal.  His teammates are like "yay that was so cool I liked how you put the ball in the goal" and he is essentially Insanity Wolf.  I finally understand what swag is.  People have been using the term "swagger" wrong for like 5 years now.  Whenever that song "swagger like us" came out, they clearly had no idea what they were talking about.  I mean, they weren't even fly like the bees in the trees, and they had never seeen that goal because it was in the future and they're not Michael J Fox.  I've never seen such authority in my entire life.  Sports Authority has less authority over sports than Balotelli has over that goal.  Mind--Blown.  If there is one thing reddit has done for me that doesnt involve me wasting all of my time every day, it is giving me way more internet to put links to on this blog.  Gotta love the blown mind gif.  Do I understand it?  Not really.  Is it really funny?  Yup.

This is my other new favorite meme. Oh what's that you're saying, internet?  I'm a huge nerd now and you're not sure if you want to be friends with me anymore?  I understand.   But seriously, Neil Degrasse Tyson, astrophysicist and overall super smart and useful contributor to the earth, and he is best known for a black and white drawing of him with a quote next to him that he didn't say.  That's the internet at its finest.  I've been saying "watch out guys, we got a badass over here" to myself all the time recently.  Unfortunately, the only person I know who gets it is only in like 3 of my classes now, so I'm essentially forever alone now.  But hopefully this paragraph will help spread the word of the glory of Neil Degrasse Tyson and I won't have to makes jokes to myself all the time.  So now you know.

So i saw Tim's facebook post about Harry Potter weekend from friday or saturday or whatever day it was, and I gotta say it made me real happy.  Not only was it about harry potter and how awesome ABC family is for force feeding us harry potter movies because they know it's the only reason people watch ABC family, but also Tim is starting to write facebook statuses like how I write blogs.  Here it is in its entirety.

"no idea how or why i'm awake right now... but the glory that is harry potter weekend is making it impossible to even consider going back to sleep. what's that you say? every 3rd weekend is harry potter weekend and it's ridiculous that you watch it almost every time? well i say to you, judgemental facebook status readers of the world, while your words are upsetting, i don't really care what you think. Filch all day."


Sound famlilar? Asking yourself questions that clearly nobody is actually asking because you're writing on your computer alone and then giving answers that you had already thought up? Anyone? Nobody? Tim loves me everyone! He reads my blog with such fervor that even my inner monologue is starting to penetrate his own. And not in a gay way. Unless you're into that. They're not real anyway so you can imagine them any way you want because they have no physical manifestation. So I guess what I'm saying here is that maybe my and Tim's inner monologues are gay for each other or something? I don't know.  Time to eat breakfast.  But first--your haiku

gay monologues drew?

that's really where you're going?

have seat over there.

They call me the Chris Hansen incorporator.  Also remember when that guy got caught diddling?  

Blog Tub Time Machine.