I've studied for the past 2 days in a row. And on top of that, I'm even planning to do some more studying this very evening. They call me the finals dominator. And I also have a story to tell. Blog, HOOOOOOOOO
So I was minding my own merry business yesterday, staring at some pathology words on a paper, all alone in my classroom because everyone else had left. It was in the early afternoon. One of my classmates, who shall remain nameless, entered the classroom and started talking to me. I decided to engage him back. So we get to talking, and by we I mean he told me all about himself for like 20 minutes and I smiled and nodded and gave some appropriate social feedback. Until we started talking about his old high school. So from there, he told me his school had a lot of Bosnian immigrants and inner city kids bussed in to attend, which didnt seem that out of the ordinary. He told me about the Bosnian kids and how they all smell bad and had "rice burner" cars, which I am looking up right now on urban dictionary because I don't know what it means. And I'm being told it's racist.
He then said that only about 30% of people from his high school went to college. I was sort of surprised, being from the snooty rich town that I'm from, since almost all of my friends, even the dumb ones, went to college. Then this person said to me, and I'm paraphrasing for the most part, but I'm gonna put it in quotes here for effect, "I don't know about the Bosnians or black kids, but out of all my white friends, you know, the people from good families, like 30% went to college." Yay racism! Dude didn't even flinch. And he's just some normal guy too. Here is how I felt, and here is how I looked. Straight poker faced him. Gotta love blatant, unapologetic racism. Except the opposite. Get me back to a northern coast please. Maybe we still do lame stuff up there too, but at least we have the decency to keep our racism private (except the old people, who of course do whatever they want). Hey dude, I appreciate that middle eastern food smells bad, but I'm not trying to hear about how the black kids are all from "bad families." uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm uncomfortable now, I think I'm gonna go study pathology and write an apology letter to Al Sharpton for you. He's still in charge of formal racism apologies right? Too much for me.
Well now that I've spent the past 2 days writing about religion and racism, I'm gonna go a little bit lighter here. I would like to give you another funny thing I found from reddit. Maybe even 2, depending on how I feel. This is a series of pictures that I saw last night while I was roaming the interwebs. Oh my is this funny. If you're in class, I recommend that you compose yourself fully before reading? this and then have some sort of object at hand to cover your face. Because you're about to enter the roflcopter and take a flight over to lmaosville. I hope that I've hyped this up enough so that you really think it's not funny anymore, aka the Big Lebowski effect. People do that with movies all the time, but I've never seen it crash so hard as it does with the Big Lebowski. You know who likes Big Lebowski? Not your girlfriend or your friend whose favorite movie is fight club. You know who does like big lebowski? your drug dealer. Rule #1 of the big lebowski--never watch it with anyone who has never seen it before. It's the worst. It's like watching a skate video with someone who doesnt skate. You're sitting there making the occasional "OH" or "woo!" sound and the other person is playing fruit ninja lite for the 200th time even though they've already got the highest score possible because they can't afford a dollar for the real thing. I know none of you skate but I'll assume you have some sort of correlating experience, even though I'm sure you're all shaking your head "no" right now. I hate you all.
I have come to the realization that grad school is the worst time I could have ever got a smartphone. I've devised a little equation here in the last 10 seconds and it goes a little something like this:
___(amount of studying I have to do)^2____ =GPA
amount of time on reddit on my phone
You see, as reddit approaches 0, my GPA approaches infinity, and as as reddit approaches infinity, my GPA approaches 0. However, I really just need to keep study time at about 3.6(reddit^2) so I can look smart to my parents. This is a very careful balancing act that mostly involves going on reddit. My current situation is sort of like in 2008 when the economy crashed and then we had like 25 other major crises (natural disasters, etc.) in like a 2 year period, and every time anyone would talk about it on the news, everything was "the perfect storm" of stuff coming together to destroy us all at once, but everybody knew that it was just a regular storm added to people being idiots. And I'm beginning to realize 2 things:
1) I put way too much stock in stuff John Stewart says, and
2) I'm an idiot just like everybody else
It's kind of nice knowing that I'm just as stupid as everybody else. For so long I had the burden of thinking that I was super smart and therefore had responsibility to actually do something useful with myself, but now I'm finding out that I just like looking at funny pictures on the internet. It's like a huge weight has been taken off my shoulders and it has been replaced with like 3 really soft puppies that are actually cumulatively the same weight as the other weight but they're so much cuter. Welp, I feel great now. Oh and here is the other thing from reddit I was gonna show you.
insanity wolf
really has to poop in class
and you know the rest.
So I was minding my own merry business yesterday, staring at some pathology words on a paper, all alone in my classroom because everyone else had left. It was in the early afternoon. One of my classmates, who shall remain nameless, entered the classroom and started talking to me. I decided to engage him back. So we get to talking, and by we I mean he told me all about himself for like 20 minutes and I smiled and nodded and gave some appropriate social feedback. Until we started talking about his old high school. So from there, he told me his school had a lot of Bosnian immigrants and inner city kids bussed in to attend, which didnt seem that out of the ordinary. He told me about the Bosnian kids and how they all smell bad and had "rice burner" cars, which I am looking up right now on urban dictionary because I don't know what it means. And I'm being told it's racist.
He then said that only about 30% of people from his high school went to college. I was sort of surprised, being from the snooty rich town that I'm from, since almost all of my friends, even the dumb ones, went to college. Then this person said to me, and I'm paraphrasing for the most part, but I'm gonna put it in quotes here for effect, "I don't know about the Bosnians or black kids, but out of all my white friends, you know, the people from good families, like 30% went to college." Yay racism! Dude didn't even flinch. And he's just some normal guy too. Here is how I felt, and here is how I looked. Straight poker faced him. Gotta love blatant, unapologetic racism. Except the opposite. Get me back to a northern coast please. Maybe we still do lame stuff up there too, but at least we have the decency to keep our racism private (except the old people, who of course do whatever they want). Hey dude, I appreciate that middle eastern food smells bad, but I'm not trying to hear about how the black kids are all from "bad families." uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm uncomfortable now, I think I'm gonna go study pathology and write an apology letter to Al Sharpton for you. He's still in charge of formal racism apologies right? Too much for me.
Well now that I've spent the past 2 days writing about religion and racism, I'm gonna go a little bit lighter here. I would like to give you another funny thing I found from reddit. Maybe even 2, depending on how I feel. This is a series of pictures that I saw last night while I was roaming the interwebs. Oh my is this funny. If you're in class, I recommend that you compose yourself fully before reading? this and then have some sort of object at hand to cover your face. Because you're about to enter the roflcopter and take a flight over to lmaosville. I hope that I've hyped this up enough so that you really think it's not funny anymore, aka the Big Lebowski effect. People do that with movies all the time, but I've never seen it crash so hard as it does with the Big Lebowski. You know who likes Big Lebowski? Not your girlfriend or your friend whose favorite movie is fight club. You know who does like big lebowski? your drug dealer. Rule #1 of the big lebowski--never watch it with anyone who has never seen it before. It's the worst. It's like watching a skate video with someone who doesnt skate. You're sitting there making the occasional "OH" or "woo!" sound and the other person is playing fruit ninja lite for the 200th time even though they've already got the highest score possible because they can't afford a dollar for the real thing. I know none of you skate but I'll assume you have some sort of correlating experience, even though I'm sure you're all shaking your head "no" right now. I hate you all.
I have come to the realization that grad school is the worst time I could have ever got a smartphone. I've devised a little equation here in the last 10 seconds and it goes a little something like this:
___(amount of studying I have to do)^2____ =GPA
amount of time on reddit on my phone
You see, as reddit approaches 0, my GPA approaches infinity, and as as reddit approaches infinity, my GPA approaches 0. However, I really just need to keep study time at about 3.6(reddit^2) so I can look smart to my parents. This is a very careful balancing act that mostly involves going on reddit. My current situation is sort of like in 2008 when the economy crashed and then we had like 25 other major crises (natural disasters, etc.) in like a 2 year period, and every time anyone would talk about it on the news, everything was "the perfect storm" of stuff coming together to destroy us all at once, but everybody knew that it was just a regular storm added to people being idiots. And I'm beginning to realize 2 things:
1) I put way too much stock in stuff John Stewart says, and
2) I'm an idiot just like everybody else
It's kind of nice knowing that I'm just as stupid as everybody else. For so long I had the burden of thinking that I was super smart and therefore had responsibility to actually do something useful with myself, but now I'm finding out that I just like looking at funny pictures on the internet. It's like a huge weight has been taken off my shoulders and it has been replaced with like 3 really soft puppies that are actually cumulatively the same weight as the other weight but they're so much cuter. Welp, I feel great now. Oh and here is the other thing from reddit I was gonna show you.
insanity wolf
really has to poop in class
and you know the rest.
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