So as you all know, I challenged Kim Jong Un to a duel in my last blog. He has yet to respond, but there is news that there is some unrest in North Korea and people aren't really sold on his reign. Clearly, the people have spoken. New blood in the Il House. They want change. Something completely out of the norm. The people want a white male to lead their country. What's that? You're telling me that I am a white male? OH what a coincidence. Just say the word oppressed people of North Korea. Get the word out to me via carrier pigeon or rock thrown over the border to South Korea or fish with my name branded on it or something. I'm your man and we all know it. I'll build those political connections in like 10 minutes. Get ready for a revolution, because I'm gonna turn your country around so hard that you wont know this guy from this guy. It's funny because they look the same.
Also I have something to ask. I was doing work at my dad's office today inputting some stuff for electronic records change, and basically I was inputting people's allergies and meds into the system so obama can kill them all easier. Most people had no allergies, some people were like "omg i cant even think of a dog lol" but then one guy put down that he was allergic to trees. So I laugh and write it in because it's funny that this guy is trollololing the healthcare overhaul and I move on. And then I see that like 4 other people are apparently allergic to trees. My question is, can you actually be allergic to trees or is this some serious conspiracy to troll me personally? These people have to be either joking or misinformed right? Are these people allergic to all the trees, or like some sap, or are they allergic to like xylem or phloem or something? Because I don't see how you can exist if you're allergic to every tree. And what do you have to do to get this reaction? There's gotta be varying degrees of this allergy right? Are they eating the tree, or do they just have to be within like 10 feet of a tree to break out in hives or whatever it is that happens? Are they carrying sticks in their mouths and playing fetch but being the dog instead? Someone find me a person who is allergic to trees because I obviously can't mock these patients for having a silly allergy, but I can always make fun of one of you anonymously via the interwebs.
Also I talked to my dad today over our first official business dinner and we essentially decided on me coming in to work at his office after I graduate, which is pretty super badass. I can't wait to just blast people all over his office and like high five my dad in the hall after really good adjustments. I'll see between patients and be like "BOOYA blasted that guy" (internet five). I'm gonna have so much fun working and I'm super excited.
ALSO I got to play with my sister's nephew Joshua last night. Oh my being an uncle is gonna be so fun. I got to play dinosaurs last night. Do you realize the extent to which roaring at other adults is fun? Especially after like 3 drinks. He was like "let's go scare Toby!" and I was like ok how are we gonna scare him. "WE'RE DINOSAURS!" YES WE ARE JOSHUA. I was born for this game. Who doesn't love dinosaurs and yelling noises in the house? Too bad I probably won't see the little dude for another year or so, but still I am gonna rock this uncle thing. I wanna play with toy cars just as much 2 1/2 year olds and my niece (yup Bridget's kid is a girl) will not be able to get enough of me. Guaranteed. Too bad I have to live in Missouri till she's 1&1/2, but I'll be making up for lost time like a boss when I get back. Play with ALL THE TOYS. Also Bridget's other nephew is just shy of 1 and he can't crawl yet and it's wicked funny to watch him try. He like gave up using his arms and tried mashing his head against the floor. I guess when you think about it it kinda makes sense. That's like the biggest part of their body. If my head was as big as my arm is long I would definitely be trying to use it to propel things and myself even more than I do now (which is fairly often). But enough of the baby talk because it's making me want to play with one again and also it's making me want a dog because face it; dogs and babies are the same before babies can talk except that puppies can run around so they're kinda better.
I feel like I need to reiterate this: North Korea, get at me. Make your intentions known. Don't keep me wondering. I can't take it anymore. Here I am in the prime of my life and I can't even get a decent dictator gig when the heir apparent is some sort of asian Michelin man with a slicked back Guile haircut. I mean this is no Dear Leader who really likes to look at things and also likes dubstep. This is Jaba the Hut whose slime is concentrated in his hair. This guy is essentially a giant baby Italian immigrant with jaundice. Boom I'm ending on that joke. Goodnight.
Also I have something to ask. I was doing work at my dad's office today inputting some stuff for electronic records change, and basically I was inputting people's allergies and meds into the system so obama can kill them all easier. Most people had no allergies, some people were like "omg i cant even think of a dog lol" but then one guy put down that he was allergic to trees. So I laugh and write it in because it's funny that this guy is trollololing the healthcare overhaul and I move on. And then I see that like 4 other people are apparently allergic to trees. My question is, can you actually be allergic to trees or is this some serious conspiracy to troll me personally? These people have to be either joking or misinformed right? Are these people allergic to all the trees, or like some sap, or are they allergic to like xylem or phloem or something? Because I don't see how you can exist if you're allergic to every tree. And what do you have to do to get this reaction? There's gotta be varying degrees of this allergy right? Are they eating the tree, or do they just have to be within like 10 feet of a tree to break out in hives or whatever it is that happens? Are they carrying sticks in their mouths and playing fetch but being the dog instead? Someone find me a person who is allergic to trees because I obviously can't mock these patients for having a silly allergy, but I can always make fun of one of you anonymously via the interwebs.
Also I talked to my dad today over our first official business dinner and we essentially decided on me coming in to work at his office after I graduate, which is pretty super badass. I can't wait to just blast people all over his office and like high five my dad in the hall after really good adjustments. I'll see between patients and be like "BOOYA blasted that guy" (internet five). I'm gonna have so much fun working and I'm super excited.
ALSO I got to play with my sister's nephew Joshua last night. Oh my being an uncle is gonna be so fun. I got to play dinosaurs last night. Do you realize the extent to which roaring at other adults is fun? Especially after like 3 drinks. He was like "let's go scare Toby!" and I was like ok how are we gonna scare him. "WE'RE DINOSAURS!" YES WE ARE JOSHUA. I was born for this game. Who doesn't love dinosaurs and yelling noises in the house? Too bad I probably won't see the little dude for another year or so, but still I am gonna rock this uncle thing. I wanna play with toy cars just as much 2 1/2 year olds and my niece (yup Bridget's kid is a girl) will not be able to get enough of me. Guaranteed. Too bad I have to live in Missouri till she's 1&1/2, but I'll be making up for lost time like a boss when I get back. Play with ALL THE TOYS. Also Bridget's other nephew is just shy of 1 and he can't crawl yet and it's wicked funny to watch him try. He like gave up using his arms and tried mashing his head against the floor. I guess when you think about it it kinda makes sense. That's like the biggest part of their body. If my head was as big as my arm is long I would definitely be trying to use it to propel things and myself even more than I do now (which is fairly often). But enough of the baby talk because it's making me want to play with one again and also it's making me want a dog because face it; dogs and babies are the same before babies can talk except that puppies can run around so they're kinda better.
I feel like I need to reiterate this: North Korea, get at me. Make your intentions known. Don't keep me wondering. I can't take it anymore. Here I am in the prime of my life and I can't even get a decent dictator gig when the heir apparent is some sort of asian Michelin man with a slicked back Guile haircut. I mean this is no Dear Leader who really likes to look at things and also likes dubstep. This is Jaba the Hut whose slime is concentrated in his hair. This guy is essentially a giant baby Italian immigrant with jaundice. Boom I'm ending on that joke. Goodnight.
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