mrrrrrcccuhhhhhhhhhh

Don't you think it's kind of pompous for America to celebrate its birthday for a whole weekend?  Come on America.  You're not a 19 year old white college girl.  You don't get a birthday week.  You're super old. Get over it.  But actually keep celebrating because I love fireworks. and by fireworks I mean these

Now that the cicada infestation is over, I need to find a new animal to hate.  I'm open to suggestions, so either write a comment, send a carrier pigeon, or don't help me at all and leave me to think of everything as usual.  I hate you guys so much.

Last night I ate almost a whole family size bag of tortilla chips.  I think that's a pretty good sign that I'm getting fat again. Workout strategy- skate till i puke, then go to the hospital and get my fluids replaced via IV.  If anyone else has any other suggestions, send them my way.  Otherwise I'm just gonna do that.  Seems safe.

I watched Jurassic Park 2 last night, and let me tell you, that acting was hilarious.  There were times where I wasn't sure if what I was watching was supposed to make me scared or giggly.  Jeff Goldbloom's black daughter was a pretty good highlight of terribleness.

So was this weird dude.

Bottom line is dinosaurs are awesome. Late nineties thriller movie acting is awesome too, but only in an ironic way.

I took the GRE this week.  They made me write out this 4 sentence promise to not discuss GRE questions or sell them or something, but they made me write it in cursive.  I decided to just scribble it, and i'm gonna just write out the rest screenplay style:

GRE lady- "Actually we need you to write this in cursive."
Me (with surprised and amusement)- "I haven't written in cursive since I was nine years old"
Lady- "Ya i know, all the letters just have to be connected"
Me (realizing she's not joking)- "alright, I guess I'll give it a shot"

Then I proceeded to spend like a half hour trying to remember how to write in cursive.  Then they metal detected me and let me take my test, which by the way is the stupidest test ever.  Computer tests are awful.  I spent more effort trying to make sense of what the questions said than actually answering them.  Clearly whoever is writing the GRE needs a lesson in punctuation.  But I can't tell you any more than that otherwise they'll send the GRE police after me.  AKA those three women at the test taking center, one of who was pretty cute.  Hey white lady who metal detects people at the GRE place, get at me.

Also, i do realize the irony of me talking about grammar on this craphole of a blog, but come on, I write these in like 10 minutes and ignore all the red squigglies. There's one under squigglies right now but I'm leaving it.

The color of the day is red, in honor of the color of the tanktop I bought yesterday

Now if you will excuse me, it's time to go lose some weight so they don't call me the bloated blogger anymore.  Because they call me that.

PEOPLE TALK TO ME OK?