I am an old man. I went to the bar with some of my brosef and brosefettes last night, and I literally had fun until the music got loud. When I get old I'm gonna have whatever the 2060 conjugate of a broom on the porch is (hopefully a ray gun or something, come on science), waving it at all the whipper snappers and telling them to shut up and get off of my land plot. And then I'll probably go skateboarding because I'm also gonna be killing it till the day I die.
Speaking of science, we better start making some cool stuff now that we're not doing the whole space thing anymore. I'm talking like vaporizing guns, teleporting, time travel, telekinesis, some super nerd-gasm inducing stuff. Time to step it up, mr. scientist. Shout out to anyone who recognizes that reference.
I don't know how many people do this, but when I sneeze, I sneeze like 15 times in a row. Right now I'm on like 6 and I can see no end in sight. Seven. Nine. Come on science. Cure my sneezes. It's not rocket science. Not that we do that anymore anyway. I WANT TO GO TO SPACE
Even though it's hardly 11:00am, I can already update my newest segment, "Have I sweated sitting down today."
Today I have sweated sitting down. I woke up in sweat. And then I made pancakes. And for those of you who regularly read this blog, you know how I feel about pancakes.
Speaking of pancakes, I think I digest them in about 25 minutes. Literally every time I eat pancakes I have to poop within a half hour. And I would chalk it up to coincidence but it's always the same consistency too, so I have come to the conclusion based on sound scientific principle (see science? if I can do science from my toilet you can make me a vaporization ray. Loony Toons style) that pancakes are digested at the fastest rate of any food. I know that the glycemic index scale is based on white bread (1.0) but i think if they included pancakes on the scale they would be like a 6.0.
Remember when Comedy Central used to have Battle Bots? That show was so awesome. Never before had level of nerdiness been so highly correlated with level of awesomeness. I could watch that show for hours. If anybody knows about a place where I can go watch robots fight I would very much appreciate it.
I stopped sneezing. The count was roughly 13. maybe more. It's weird how you don't notice when you don't sneeze. Actually probably not that weird. I say weird a lot.
Can someone tell me what instagram is?
Alright I literally can't stand thinking anymore, so it's time to cease this blog. For those of you who don't know blog = web+log. We(b log). They call me the educator.
Alright one more thing. I love that my friends out here talk like my friends from college. Shout out to my 6-10 friends at UD who talk like idiots. Wow that's actually kind of a lot of friends. I love all of you. Except Zack.
Zack I actually love you the most.
Hopefully someone else remembers that part. I watch too much TV
They call me the tv duck.
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