you know what I've had enough of? crotch rips in my pants. Am I the only person in the world who gets crotch rips? I swear, the last like 4 pairs of pants that I've had to throw away are from crotch rips. They call me powerful crotch Drew. But seriously, too many crotch holes. People who are designing pants, fix this asap. I bet you can't make a pair of pants that I don't rip the crotch in within 2 years. I currently have 2 pairs of pants that I wear regularly that have at least minor crotch rip. Sometimes you gotta let it all hang out.
I miss the days where I didn't wear underwear on a regular basis. Now that I have palpation lab and stuff err day I think it's inappropriate. But underwear is so lame. Who needs two layers of clothes? What am I, an eskimo? My butt is hot enough as it is (pun) without having to double up layers. I was gonna write something about button up sleeveless shirts to make a point about how much I would like to avoid wearing clothes if at all possible, and then I remembered that button up sleeveless shirts are called vests. And since I'm not a high school football player at prom, I can't just be wearing a vest all by itself. Boom roasted. All of the high school football players, along with your skinny friend who hung out with you but didn't actually play football but still did the vest thing at prom so he could fit in. It's ok skinny kid, we get that you're insecure. We all were, it was high school. High stress period for everybody. We just wished that you would have been friends with us like you were in middle school. When did you decide that I wasn't cool enough to hang out with you? I thought we were so close, and then you just stopped talking to me and started wearing skinny silver chains and got your ears pierced. I hope you're happy. I miss you.
That was a pretty solid emo blog section. I think I'm gonna start incorporating that into this blog more often. That segment will be called "Emo paragraph that obviously isn't true because I'm so awesome but seriously I have feelings too guys." Sounds promising. It'll be the best way to get all of my emotions out while maintaining my manly exterior. Because, let's face it, I'm like the M&M's that are sitting next to me on my bed right now; I have a candy shell but I also melt in your mouth and not your hand. And sometimes I have peanuts in my center. I'm pretty sure that's the metaphor I was looking for. Remember when the blue M&M came out? that was a huge deal. Wasn't it? or am I making that up. Yep, that happened. Good old 1990's. Guys, Fourstar came out 15 years ago. The raddest clothing company around is 15 years old. I have 0 fourstar clothing items, and that needs to change. My next tshirt purchase will be a 4star one. The past 3 sentences are meaningless to all of you.
Today marks the 2 week-iversary of the last time I skated. I know. Mind blowing. My legs ache for skateboarding. But my toe says no. I sprained my left big toe MTP joint. It's annoying. Toes are the worst. I can't wait for evolution to replace toes with something more useful. Feet have a terrible design. Could I do better? No, but I'm not omnipotent and I'm not an engineer. Ch-ch-check out what our feet can do. NOTHING. We can't grab stuff like monkeys. We can't run really fast, we don't have hoofs. We have these mashed up almost hands with no function but to be sore when we stand up for a long time. Come on evolution. EVOLVE ME. I have the moon stone, turn me into clefable. POKEMON REFERENCE. that link has "uniblogger" in it. I guess that guy didn't know that they call me that already. even though I'm sure he picked that name first, I get to keep it because people actually talk to me. Oh nobody talks to me? OK. Sorry.
I miss the days where I didn't wear underwear on a regular basis. Now that I have palpation lab and stuff err day I think it's inappropriate. But underwear is so lame. Who needs two layers of clothes? What am I, an eskimo? My butt is hot enough as it is (pun) without having to double up layers. I was gonna write something about button up sleeveless shirts to make a point about how much I would like to avoid wearing clothes if at all possible, and then I remembered that button up sleeveless shirts are called vests. And since I'm not a high school football player at prom, I can't just be wearing a vest all by itself. Boom roasted. All of the high school football players, along with your skinny friend who hung out with you but didn't actually play football but still did the vest thing at prom so he could fit in. It's ok skinny kid, we get that you're insecure. We all were, it was high school. High stress period for everybody. We just wished that you would have been friends with us like you were in middle school. When did you decide that I wasn't cool enough to hang out with you? I thought we were so close, and then you just stopped talking to me and started wearing skinny silver chains and got your ears pierced. I hope you're happy. I miss you.
That was a pretty solid emo blog section. I think I'm gonna start incorporating that into this blog more often. That segment will be called "Emo paragraph that obviously isn't true because I'm so awesome but seriously I have feelings too guys." Sounds promising. It'll be the best way to get all of my emotions out while maintaining my manly exterior. Because, let's face it, I'm like the M&M's that are sitting next to me on my bed right now; I have a candy shell but I also melt in your mouth and not your hand. And sometimes I have peanuts in my center. I'm pretty sure that's the metaphor I was looking for. Remember when the blue M&M came out? that was a huge deal. Wasn't it? or am I making that up. Yep, that happened. Good old 1990's. Guys, Fourstar came out 15 years ago. The raddest clothing company around is 15 years old. I have 0 fourstar clothing items, and that needs to change. My next tshirt purchase will be a 4star one. The past 3 sentences are meaningless to all of you.
Today marks the 2 week-iversary of the last time I skated. I know. Mind blowing. My legs ache for skateboarding. But my toe says no. I sprained my left big toe MTP joint. It's annoying. Toes are the worst. I can't wait for evolution to replace toes with something more useful. Feet have a terrible design. Could I do better? No, but I'm not omnipotent and I'm not an engineer. Ch-ch-check out what our feet can do. NOTHING. We can't grab stuff like monkeys. We can't run really fast, we don't have hoofs. We have these mashed up almost hands with no function but to be sore when we stand up for a long time. Come on evolution. EVOLVE ME. I have the moon stone, turn me into clefable. POKEMON REFERENCE. that link has "uniblogger" in it. I guess that guy didn't know that they call me that already. even though I'm sure he picked that name first, I get to keep it because people actually talk to me. Oh nobody talks to me? OK. Sorry.
du know vut is sad?
ReplyDeleteDrew sleeps vith ze M&M's
he's such a LOOOOSIRRRR