I really don't know what has kept me from blogging this week but I am so so so so so so sorry. There are some things I need to tell you all about.
I got a new phone yesterday. It is the i version of phones. I got an iphone. I'm the coolest guy around now. Look at this guy over here with the fancy internet phone. You know who that guy is? Me. I have one of those now. Aaaaaaaand it's so cool. But before I get carried away, let me get carried away with something else. The story of the iphone getting. Most of you have heard this story already if you live in the state of missouri. But if you have not, then you're in for a treat. Because this is the story of how I suck. If you know this story already, feel free to skip the next paragraph, unless you think it might be funny to see the difference between my blog narrative compared to my real life narrative. I'm much funnier on the internet.
So I went after school to go buy an iphone yesterday. I got to the store and asked if they had got a new shipment in because I had been told that yesterday would be the day of the iphone shipment. Alas, I was told no. There are no iphones here sir. That is, until I started filling out the reserve form, and another employee said "oh, we have one of those in the back. I will get it for you." Boom. I'm getting an iphone. Problem #1- My credit card did not have the available balance to purchase said iphone. Problem #2- My debit card did not have the available balance to pay for said iphone. Problem #3- They could not split the cost between the 2 cards because they are both Visa cards. So, I tell them I will go to the bank and work this thing out, because after all they do call me the problem solver.
So I get to the bank, and here is where I encounter problem #4. There is an armored truck blocking me from parking, and I am sort of in it's way. I back up. Problem #4- There is a car behind me. I hit the car. Woopsies! Fortunately, minimal damage occurred, and it's not gonna cost me a bunch of money. Just some money. So after that, I go in the bank to see if some funds can be transferred. Problem #5-that won't work. Something about a couple days for the transfer to process. So I figure I'll just write a check for some of it and put the rest on my credit card. I go home and get my checkbook. Problem #6-Verizon doesn't believe in checks. So I go to the ATM and get cash out, and I'm ready to buy this iphone. Problem #7- Bank of America thinks my credit card is being used fraudulently and has blocked activity. So I talk to the robot on the phone and we work that part out. The robot says to wait five minutes and try again. So I wait ten minutes just in case. Problem#8- Still no dice with the credit card. So I try calling my parents again to see if they can make a dollars transfer, which leads me to Problem#9- they don't pick up. So I call the Wass and ask him for $40, because that was the difference between the number of dollars I have in my bank (I'm broke) and how much the phone costs. The Wass has 40 dollars, and he delivers me all 40 of them. I did have to do back to the ATM to get the rest of my cash out, but finally I pay for my brand new pretty iphone with straight cash homie. And that, my friends, is the story of my iphone. I got 9 problems and an iphone is the source of afferentation for all of them. hit me.
So now back to regular blog content. What should we talk about? Well, more people are finding out about my blog. My boy Wes has been my best spokesperson at school. Just making blog references left and right. Making sure everybody knows about this site. It's humiliating because then I have to explain that yes, I do have a blog, and no, it's not really about anything and no, I swear I'm not entirely self-centered and think I am the center of the universe (even though that last part is a lie, we all know I am the center of the universe). But the end product is that more people read this silly site and my self-esteem gets a boost that it really doesn't need but it appreciates anyway. So really what I'm trying to say is thank you Wesley and I can't wait to see your mustache next week. And I can't wait for your halloween party so I can wear my awesome costume.
Speaking of my costume, I have been surprised at how many people don't know what juggalos are. Come on guys, I go to school in the midwest and nobody knows what a juggalo is? I thought meth was big out here. I was looking forward to trying Faygo soda and huffing paint. Maybe I have my regions wrong, but I kinda just assumed the midwest would be crawling with ICP fans. Apparently people out here are just regular people with no discernable accent pattern. Who would have thought?
You know what I learned twice this week and expect to probably hear about again? That Nutella is actually pronounced "NEW-tell-uh." Who knew? I'll tell you who. Anna knew. The whole time. And I must have made a big deal at some point about how it DEFINITELY was not pronounced that way, because I thought for a second I was going to be punched in my face when she told me. I feared for my safety for a second, until I remembered how much bigger than her I am. I love having a rather large stature. It makes me have to be scared of a lot less stuff. But I do have one other thing to say on the Nutella front- I will still be pronouncing it "NUH-tell-uh" because this is America and I can do whatever I want. Also this poor quality commercial pronounces it like me. So at some point when you stop having to study so much and get around to reading this post, make sure you watch that youtube link Anna. Because even if you're in nutrition, you can always just put your headphones in like always. And I'm not going to bring this up in real life because I'm scared of confrontation, but you have your (conveniently undocumented) commercial, but I have mine now too. I'm happy to call it even for now, until you get mad at me after you read this.
I talked to Tim on the phone yesterday. On iphone. because I have one of those now. Which also means you'll be getting mid-day blogs. But probably not this week because I have a lot of tests. But who am I kidding, maybe this week. But when I was talking to Tim, he told me how much he enjoyed my dictator story. And I was very happy to hear that he liked it. Because I thought that story was fantastic. Right up there with my pumpkin beer story that Alex reminded me of. Wow I am really funny. I can't wait to get this blog made into a book so I can replace "Stuff White People Like" in my bathroom.
I've been thinking about moving at the end of next summer so I can be closer to my clinic, and just because I could use a change of scenery. Here's my biggest problem; I don't know what place to pick. And anyone who knows me a little too well knows that once I start a project, it really bothers me until it's finished. And now that I've started sort of browsing for a new apartment, I'm really annoyed that I haven't found the perfect one yet. Even though it's like 10 months till I would be moving, if I even move at all. Call me unreasonable if you want, because I won't argue with you. We've already established that I'm scared of confrontation and also you would be right and I don't like to be wrong, because it clashes with my view of myself as infallible. If I was a pharaoh back in ancient egypt, there is a 100% chance that I would have legitimately thought that I was part god. And those pyramids would have a way cooler shape. or they would have been upside down or something. That would be cool. Come on egypt, get on that. Giant stone inverted pyramids.
Ok this blog has gone on long enough. I hope you have enjoyed my return to blogdom. Here's your haiku.
Woke up when it's dark
wasn't even hungover
still got nothing done.
They call me unproductive.
I got a new phone yesterday. It is the i version of phones. I got an iphone. I'm the coolest guy around now. Look at this guy over here with the fancy internet phone. You know who that guy is? Me. I have one of those now. Aaaaaaaand it's so cool. But before I get carried away, let me get carried away with something else. The story of the iphone getting. Most of you have heard this story already if you live in the state of missouri. But if you have not, then you're in for a treat. Because this is the story of how I suck. If you know this story already, feel free to skip the next paragraph, unless you think it might be funny to see the difference between my blog narrative compared to my real life narrative. I'm much funnier on the internet.
So I went after school to go buy an iphone yesterday. I got to the store and asked if they had got a new shipment in because I had been told that yesterday would be the day of the iphone shipment. Alas, I was told no. There are no iphones here sir. That is, until I started filling out the reserve form, and another employee said "oh, we have one of those in the back. I will get it for you." Boom. I'm getting an iphone. Problem #1- My credit card did not have the available balance to purchase said iphone. Problem #2- My debit card did not have the available balance to pay for said iphone. Problem #3- They could not split the cost between the 2 cards because they are both Visa cards. So, I tell them I will go to the bank and work this thing out, because after all they do call me the problem solver.
So I get to the bank, and here is where I encounter problem #4. There is an armored truck blocking me from parking, and I am sort of in it's way. I back up. Problem #4- There is a car behind me. I hit the car. Woopsies! Fortunately, minimal damage occurred, and it's not gonna cost me a bunch of money. Just some money. So after that, I go in the bank to see if some funds can be transferred. Problem #5-that won't work. Something about a couple days for the transfer to process. So I figure I'll just write a check for some of it and put the rest on my credit card. I go home and get my checkbook. Problem #6-Verizon doesn't believe in checks. So I go to the ATM and get cash out, and I'm ready to buy this iphone. Problem #7- Bank of America thinks my credit card is being used fraudulently and has blocked activity. So I talk to the robot on the phone and we work that part out. The robot says to wait five minutes and try again. So I wait ten minutes just in case. Problem#8- Still no dice with the credit card. So I try calling my parents again to see if they can make a dollars transfer, which leads me to Problem#9- they don't pick up. So I call the Wass and ask him for $40, because that was the difference between the number of dollars I have in my bank (I'm broke) and how much the phone costs. The Wass has 40 dollars, and he delivers me all 40 of them. I did have to do back to the ATM to get the rest of my cash out, but finally I pay for my brand new pretty iphone with straight cash homie. And that, my friends, is the story of my iphone. I got 9 problems and an iphone is the source of afferentation for all of them. hit me.
So now back to regular blog content. What should we talk about? Well, more people are finding out about my blog. My boy Wes has been my best spokesperson at school. Just making blog references left and right. Making sure everybody knows about this site. It's humiliating because then I have to explain that yes, I do have a blog, and no, it's not really about anything and no, I swear I'm not entirely self-centered and think I am the center of the universe (even though that last part is a lie, we all know I am the center of the universe). But the end product is that more people read this silly site and my self-esteem gets a boost that it really doesn't need but it appreciates anyway. So really what I'm trying to say is thank you Wesley and I can't wait to see your mustache next week. And I can't wait for your halloween party so I can wear my awesome costume.
Speaking of my costume, I have been surprised at how many people don't know what juggalos are. Come on guys, I go to school in the midwest and nobody knows what a juggalo is? I thought meth was big out here. I was looking forward to trying Faygo soda and huffing paint. Maybe I have my regions wrong, but I kinda just assumed the midwest would be crawling with ICP fans. Apparently people out here are just regular people with no discernable accent pattern. Who would have thought?
You know what I learned twice this week and expect to probably hear about again? That Nutella is actually pronounced "NEW-tell-uh." Who knew? I'll tell you who. Anna knew. The whole time. And I must have made a big deal at some point about how it DEFINITELY was not pronounced that way, because I thought for a second I was going to be punched in my face when she told me. I feared for my safety for a second, until I remembered how much bigger than her I am. I love having a rather large stature. It makes me have to be scared of a lot less stuff. But I do have one other thing to say on the Nutella front- I will still be pronouncing it "NUH-tell-uh" because this is America and I can do whatever I want. Also this poor quality commercial pronounces it like me. So at some point when you stop having to study so much and get around to reading this post, make sure you watch that youtube link Anna. Because even if you're in nutrition, you can always just put your headphones in like always. And I'm not going to bring this up in real life because I'm scared of confrontation, but you have your (conveniently undocumented) commercial, but I have mine now too. I'm happy to call it even for now, until you get mad at me after you read this.
I talked to Tim on the phone yesterday. On iphone. because I have one of those now. Which also means you'll be getting mid-day blogs. But probably not this week because I have a lot of tests. But who am I kidding, maybe this week. But when I was talking to Tim, he told me how much he enjoyed my dictator story. And I was very happy to hear that he liked it. Because I thought that story was fantastic. Right up there with my pumpkin beer story that Alex reminded me of. Wow I am really funny. I can't wait to get this blog made into a book so I can replace "Stuff White People Like" in my bathroom.
I've been thinking about moving at the end of next summer so I can be closer to my clinic, and just because I could use a change of scenery. Here's my biggest problem; I don't know what place to pick. And anyone who knows me a little too well knows that once I start a project, it really bothers me until it's finished. And now that I've started sort of browsing for a new apartment, I'm really annoyed that I haven't found the perfect one yet. Even though it's like 10 months till I would be moving, if I even move at all. Call me unreasonable if you want, because I won't argue with you. We've already established that I'm scared of confrontation and also you would be right and I don't like to be wrong, because it clashes with my view of myself as infallible. If I was a pharaoh back in ancient egypt, there is a 100% chance that I would have legitimately thought that I was part god. And those pyramids would have a way cooler shape. or they would have been upside down or something. That would be cool. Come on egypt, get on that. Giant stone inverted pyramids.
Ok this blog has gone on long enough. I hope you have enjoyed my return to blogdom. Here's your haiku.
Woke up when it's dark
wasn't even hungover
still got nothing done.
They call me unproductive.
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