Sunday mornings are the best mornings. M&M pancakes, soccer, laying in bed for hours on end. And on top of that, completely hangover free. I gotta have relaxed Saturday nights more often. It just feels so right. I woke up at 7:45 today, and I'm not even mad about it. Not even a little bit. Did I eat too many pancakes? Of course I did. Have I essentially already digested them? I think so. There must be something in pancakes that makes the gastrocolic reflex go super hard. Somebody research that. What is it about eating your own body weight in pancakes that makes you have to poop immediately after. Maybe that will be my senior research project. Thank god for this blog, because otherwise that brilliant idea might have gone to waste.
Yesterday was literally the best weather in the history of the world. It was 72F and sunny. and then it was 6:30 and apparently that's night time. That's by far the worst part about not living on the equator. Super short days. I need more than 12 hours of light. Maybe I'll plan on living in Finland every summer and somewhere in south america in the winter when I'm old. I would like it to never be dark out. Is that so much to ask? I'm just trying to avoid vampires here. I'm really gonna need that personal artificial sun asap. I really don't think that's too much to ask. I'm only gonna be alive for so long, especially if I try to keep skating into my 40's. Clearly I'm gonna be dead pretty soon, so somebody help me out here.
Yesterday I played skateboarding, and I tried to tell some people afterwards why it's so awesome. Failed miserably. And here is why: I suck at explaining things. I'm just the worst. Here's what happens when I try to talk for more than like 15 words: They all turn into one word and try to come out at the same time. My tongue tries to make like 4 sounds at once that just can't be done. Like a G, F, R, and S sound all at once. Then my brain gets mad at me and shuts off and then I just say something stupid, and fortunately I'm really attractive so people think they like me anyway. All my professors at school talk about giving little educational speeches and that kind of thing, but I think if I try to do that I will have no patients. Everyone will think I'm an idiot. But I will be wearing a bow tie most of the time, so that might work in my favor. My generation associates bow ties with Bill Nye, and that was the guy everybody learned science from, so maybe people will still think I'm smart just because of the bow tie. I'll just have to get custom sky blue doctor jackets and get way skinnier. When people actually start making the connection I'll just have to tell them to get out. Because subliminal Bill Nye suggestions are fine, but when people figure out that you're actually trying to look like Bill Nye, then you seem crazy. I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that's the rule.
I've been getting really into weird semi-electro indie pop recently. I have this tendency to be embarrassed of stuff that I like, and this case is no different. For example, the last 2 artists that just came up on pandora are Swedish electro-pop bands, and I'm pretty embarrassed to say that I'm super into it. There's a chance I'm developing robot ears. People like to say cliche things like "do what you love" and all that crap, but let's be honest. You're all judging me super hard now. I can hear your future thoughts through my blogosphere. "Ha Drew is so lame. What kind of person has a blog and listens to foreign electronic music? I'll tell you what kind. The lamest of the lame. And stop writing about skateboarding, nobody who reads this thing skates and it doesn't make sense to any of us. You're 22 years old, learn to play guitar and go through a rasta/wu tang phase like everybody else.'' Well you know what? I already went through a Wu Tang phase in high school and I kinda made a tiny effort to learn bass last semester and I just didn't like it that much OK? Lay off me I'm starving.
I've said "lay off me I'm starving" like 4 times in the past couple weeks, and I have got a total of 0 responses that have anything to do with Chris Farley. I've been pretty disappointed. Do people not think Chris Farley is funny in the midwest? I didn't think it was that obscure of a reference and I've tried it in a number of different demographics. I guess I'm just gonna have to put it on the back burner until I get back home. That joke didn't test well, and I suppose it's time to move past it. But I like french fries and Chris Farley and cross dressing so much. Oh well. Objectivity, Drew. Objectivity. You are nothing if you can't stay objective. Comedy requires a differential diagnosis just as much as health care. it's not magic, it's science.
Time for more soccer and some stuff that doesn't involve writing nonsense into the internet. T-minus 5 days until iPhone. I hope. I haven't written a haiku in a while. Here goes.
swedish electro
and creepy female singers
give me ear-gasms
That was pretty good for being rusty. They call me the rusty haiku
Yesterday was literally the best weather in the history of the world. It was 72F and sunny. and then it was 6:30 and apparently that's night time. That's by far the worst part about not living on the equator. Super short days. I need more than 12 hours of light. Maybe I'll plan on living in Finland every summer and somewhere in south america in the winter when I'm old. I would like it to never be dark out. Is that so much to ask? I'm just trying to avoid vampires here. I'm really gonna need that personal artificial sun asap. I really don't think that's too much to ask. I'm only gonna be alive for so long, especially if I try to keep skating into my 40's. Clearly I'm gonna be dead pretty soon, so somebody help me out here.
Yesterday I played skateboarding, and I tried to tell some people afterwards why it's so awesome. Failed miserably. And here is why: I suck at explaining things. I'm just the worst. Here's what happens when I try to talk for more than like 15 words: They all turn into one word and try to come out at the same time. My tongue tries to make like 4 sounds at once that just can't be done. Like a G, F, R, and S sound all at once. Then my brain gets mad at me and shuts off and then I just say something stupid, and fortunately I'm really attractive so people think they like me anyway. All my professors at school talk about giving little educational speeches and that kind of thing, but I think if I try to do that I will have no patients. Everyone will think I'm an idiot. But I will be wearing a bow tie most of the time, so that might work in my favor. My generation associates bow ties with Bill Nye, and that was the guy everybody learned science from, so maybe people will still think I'm smart just because of the bow tie. I'll just have to get custom sky blue doctor jackets and get way skinnier. When people actually start making the connection I'll just have to tell them to get out. Because subliminal Bill Nye suggestions are fine, but when people figure out that you're actually trying to look like Bill Nye, then you seem crazy. I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that's the rule.
I've been getting really into weird semi-electro indie pop recently. I have this tendency to be embarrassed of stuff that I like, and this case is no different. For example, the last 2 artists that just came up on pandora are Swedish electro-pop bands, and I'm pretty embarrassed to say that I'm super into it. There's a chance I'm developing robot ears. People like to say cliche things like "do what you love" and all that crap, but let's be honest. You're all judging me super hard now. I can hear your future thoughts through my blogosphere. "Ha Drew is so lame. What kind of person has a blog and listens to foreign electronic music? I'll tell you what kind. The lamest of the lame. And stop writing about skateboarding, nobody who reads this thing skates and it doesn't make sense to any of us. You're 22 years old, learn to play guitar and go through a rasta/wu tang phase like everybody else.'' Well you know what? I already went through a Wu Tang phase in high school and I kinda made a tiny effort to learn bass last semester and I just didn't like it that much OK? Lay off me I'm starving.
I've said "lay off me I'm starving" like 4 times in the past couple weeks, and I have got a total of 0 responses that have anything to do with Chris Farley. I've been pretty disappointed. Do people not think Chris Farley is funny in the midwest? I didn't think it was that obscure of a reference and I've tried it in a number of different demographics. I guess I'm just gonna have to put it on the back burner until I get back home. That joke didn't test well, and I suppose it's time to move past it. But I like french fries and Chris Farley and cross dressing so much. Oh well. Objectivity, Drew. Objectivity. You are nothing if you can't stay objective. Comedy requires a differential diagnosis just as much as health care. it's not magic, it's science.
Time for more soccer and some stuff that doesn't involve writing nonsense into the internet. T-minus 5 days until iPhone. I hope. I haven't written a haiku in a while. Here goes.
swedish electro
and creepy female singers
give me ear-gasms
That was pretty good for being rusty. They call me the rusty haiku
I fart while I sleep.
ReplyDeleteOr do I sleep when I fart?
Either way, success.