I got two new jackets over this winter break. One is a black peacoat that makes me look like an absolute boss (and that might even be selling me short) and one is a green water/windproof jacket. Literally for the past 10 years I have avoided waterproof things and finally I gave in this year at 22 years old and bought one because I also look super cool in that jacket. Why did I avoid waterproof things for a decade you ask? Because I do not like swooshy material. I do not like the sound it makes. I do not like the way it shakes. I do not like the way it feels. I do not like it on my heels. You get the idea. But for some reason, this jacket's swooshiness has not bothered me. I'm just swooshing left and right and doing it with pride. I think that this is a sign of my maturity. I no longer discriminate based on material friction sounds. This new breakthrough gives me hope for myself, for America, and for the world. If I can get over my distaste for swooshy material, maybe we can all get over our prejudices and hold hands and stuff like that. But then we will get all of each others' germs. Let's all wash our hands first. Public safety comes before niceties. Fo reals.
I had a major "what do I do with my hands" moment today. I was in my radpo lab today (for all of you not in tri 5 or later at logan college of chiropractic, that means radiographic positioning) and for whatever reason I thought it was a good idea to stand up for the whole class instead of taking one of the stools off of the stacks they were in and sitting on that. I can say with confidence that in the roughly 32 minutes I was in that room I changed my arm position 65 times. Here are the positions I tried, most at least 5 times:
-hands in front pockets
-hands in back pockets
-hands in jacket pockets
-arms crossed
-leaned back on the stools
-one hand in front pocket, one hanging loosely
-hands down by my sides
-hands folded in front of my UPA
-hands folded behind my back
-I'm sure I'm forgetting some but you get the idea
And on top of my constant fidgeting and my heavy-breathing classmate beside me, my fill-in teacher would not stop looking me directly in the eyes. I swear we had like 9 minutes of solid eye contact during that lab. Come on bro, I know I'm dreamy but try looking at someone else. Actually I should take that back, because he did look at one other dude and the ceiling occasionally. I honestly thought he was going to ask me out after class, and I wouldn't be surprised if he found me on facebook and congressmaned me. Ok I know that last link may have been almost uncalled for, but it was all over TV and you've all seen clothed wieners before. Literally every day. I have a clothed wiener right now. There are billions of clothed wieners in the world right now. Get over it. But really I think he was trying to put the moves on me. But instead of using the tried and true Barney Stinson formula of backhanded compliments, then ignoring, then establishing intimacy through physical contact, saying my name a lot, and really intense eye contact, he just was using intense eye contact. And just so you all know, I remembered all those steps off the top of my head. Be impressed. Stinson always gets the yes.
My knee has been acting funny for the past two days. The worst part is that I didn't hurt it doing anything. I skated, then laid on the ground for like an hour like I usually do, and then when I stood up it hurt. I literally got hurt from laying down. It hurts in a really weird spot too. Like not so much in the joint, or in a muscle, but like right in one little spot. Although I did slam kinda funny one time. I decided skating with my hands in my pockets was a good idea, and of course I slipped out and fell right onto my stomach. My neck muscles must be the strongest things of all time because I have no idea how I didn't smash my face on the ground. It was one of those super slowmo times, and I saw the ground get close to my face and felt my hands decide that my pockets were the best place for them to be. I must have had some devils snare in my pockets or something (HP joke!), thank god I payed attention in herbology. I thought I was gonna puke up my 1500 calorie 2nd lunch that I had eaten right before I skated. Did you guys know I like to eat? That reminds me of a game that I haven't played in a while, that my girl bmbobik reminded me of yesterday. TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH
On our first day of school yesterday, it was really hot in our classroom. Like 85+F, or about 30C for my international readers (I'm looking at you Finland). So in honor of the strange heat in our classroom, I would like to play a slight variation on the ever popular "did I sweat sitting down today?" and play "did I sweat sitting down yesterday?"
Yes.
Ok well since comp boards are tomorrow, I don't have class so I'm gonna go do what any responsible grad student should do and go celebrate with my boys in Ballwin. Also I'm doing my laundry now because I'm a big boy. Shoutout to my boy Black Doug, good luck tomorrow buddy. I know you'll end up reading this after you take and pass comp boards, so I guess congratulations are in order. I feel very comfortable doing this because jinxes only exist in sports.
SPORTS! How could I forget by boy Tebow. I laughed so hard when they scored that touchdown in overtime. Not only because of my inherent hatred of all things pittsburg steelers, but because of how glorious the play was. "oh no, new overtime rules, what's going to happen, high drama, what if something weird happens, this is a momentus--oh. the game's over. Tebow throws a pass to tebow who stiffarms the entire city of pittsburg and crushes the hopes of a blue collar city just trying to make it through a recession. real nice tebow." Tebows line wasn't that funny in the end, but it did have some fine moments for me. He was a mildly entertaining 10/21 with 316 yards, putting him at 31.6 yards per completion. Does this guy know how to have a regular game? I hope not so that I can enjoy his career for years to come. I love you Tebow. Ok that's enough of that. Time for your haiku
wednesday night tonight
biggest party night of all
I'm doctor swagoo
I had a major "what do I do with my hands" moment today. I was in my radpo lab today (for all of you not in tri 5 or later at logan college of chiropractic, that means radiographic positioning) and for whatever reason I thought it was a good idea to stand up for the whole class instead of taking one of the stools off of the stacks they were in and sitting on that. I can say with confidence that in the roughly 32 minutes I was in that room I changed my arm position 65 times. Here are the positions I tried, most at least 5 times:
-hands in front pockets
-hands in back pockets
-hands in jacket pockets
-arms crossed
-leaned back on the stools
-one hand in front pocket, one hanging loosely
-hands down by my sides
-hands folded in front of my UPA
-hands folded behind my back
-I'm sure I'm forgetting some but you get the idea
And on top of my constant fidgeting and my heavy-breathing classmate beside me, my fill-in teacher would not stop looking me directly in the eyes. I swear we had like 9 minutes of solid eye contact during that lab. Come on bro, I know I'm dreamy but try looking at someone else. Actually I should take that back, because he did look at one other dude and the ceiling occasionally. I honestly thought he was going to ask me out after class, and I wouldn't be surprised if he found me on facebook and congressmaned me. Ok I know that last link may have been almost uncalled for, but it was all over TV and you've all seen clothed wieners before. Literally every day. I have a clothed wiener right now. There are billions of clothed wieners in the world right now. Get over it. But really I think he was trying to put the moves on me. But instead of using the tried and true Barney Stinson formula of backhanded compliments, then ignoring, then establishing intimacy through physical contact, saying my name a lot, and really intense eye contact, he just was using intense eye contact. And just so you all know, I remembered all those steps off the top of my head. Be impressed. Stinson always gets the yes.
My knee has been acting funny for the past two days. The worst part is that I didn't hurt it doing anything. I skated, then laid on the ground for like an hour like I usually do, and then when I stood up it hurt. I literally got hurt from laying down. It hurts in a really weird spot too. Like not so much in the joint, or in a muscle, but like right in one little spot. Although I did slam kinda funny one time. I decided skating with my hands in my pockets was a good idea, and of course I slipped out and fell right onto my stomach. My neck muscles must be the strongest things of all time because I have no idea how I didn't smash my face on the ground. It was one of those super slowmo times, and I saw the ground get close to my face and felt my hands decide that my pockets were the best place for them to be. I must have had some devils snare in my pockets or something (HP joke!), thank god I payed attention in herbology. I thought I was gonna puke up my 1500 calorie 2nd lunch that I had eaten right before I skated. Did you guys know I like to eat? That reminds me of a game that I haven't played in a while, that my girl bmbobik reminded me of yesterday. TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH
On our first day of school yesterday, it was really hot in our classroom. Like 85+F, or about 30C for my international readers (I'm looking at you Finland). So in honor of the strange heat in our classroom, I would like to play a slight variation on the ever popular "did I sweat sitting down today?" and play "did I sweat sitting down yesterday?"
Yes.
Ok well since comp boards are tomorrow, I don't have class so I'm gonna go do what any responsible grad student should do and go celebrate with my boys in Ballwin. Also I'm doing my laundry now because I'm a big boy. Shoutout to my boy Black Doug, good luck tomorrow buddy. I know you'll end up reading this after you take and pass comp boards, so I guess congratulations are in order. I feel very comfortable doing this because jinxes only exist in sports.
SPORTS! How could I forget by boy Tebow. I laughed so hard when they scored that touchdown in overtime. Not only because of my inherent hatred of all things pittsburg steelers, but because of how glorious the play was. "oh no, new overtime rules, what's going to happen, high drama, what if something weird happens, this is a momentus--oh. the game's over. Tebow throws a pass to tebow who stiffarms the entire city of pittsburg and crushes the hopes of a blue collar city just trying to make it through a recession. real nice tebow." Tebows line wasn't that funny in the end, but it did have some fine moments for me. He was a mildly entertaining 10/21 with 316 yards, putting him at 31.6 yards per completion. Does this guy know how to have a regular game? I hope not so that I can enjoy his career for years to come. I love you Tebow. Ok that's enough of that. Time for your haiku
wednesday night tonight
biggest party night of all
I'm doctor swagoo
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