So I'm back and ready to blog. I've had a pretty serious series of weekends here this semester. This one in particular was pretty cool. I got to treat like 70 people, from like 5-80+ years old. No laws. No rules. Freaking battle royale, chiropractic style. C1. C1. C2. Right SI. Blaow, blaowblaow! Innate spilling out their ears and butts. No apex contacts though. Not trying to get central american pink eye here. Now I will tell you some funny things that happened, because that's clearly the important part of the weekend. If you wanna hear the inspiring parts, sucks for you. You'll have to contact me individually because this blog isn't designed to handle inspiration.
People in guatemala drive like a boss. One collective really hard to beat boss. There are approximately 3 school busses per person, and all the bus drivers think they are stock car drivers (that's what they drive in nascar). We were driving out to this village in some mountain to treat the people there and we almost got in 3 head on collisions, all by passing trucks on single lane "highway" roads. One was a truck that had to slam the brakes on and pull into the shoulder to avoid us. Another one was a semi truck. It had 18 wheels. It was real big. We missed it by about 15 yards. I was 1/2 aroused, 1/2 excited, 1/2 scared, and 1/2 aroused (SFW). That is correct, I completed telophase and officially became 2 people via mitosis while in guatemala. I was sure to eat the new smaller me so I retained all of my powers. Dwight Schrute already has the power of a man and a fetus, I gotta at least keep the power of one man. Also, a 14 year old girl fell in love with me there. I told her I liked her shoes (in spanish, thanks Mr. Brillant) and she looked at how jacked and attractive I am and perhaps instantly thought that we were married. When one of the volunteers told her to get her family for a picture, she went and got me. So, sorry Brit, but I might be married to a 14 year old guatemalan in a mayan mountain farming village. Sorry I left this part out when I told you the story, but this seemed like the best way to tell you. So, yeah, I guess I'll be seeing you, or something. Sorry.
I am also officially old again. There were a bunch of high school kids on the trip with us to be volunteers with the kids and stuff, and on the last night I was there they were singing songs on the bus. I was not happy about it. Given, they were Jesus songs and those are usually the worst kind of songs, but really I was just annoyed that they were making noise. So basically what I'm getting at is that I'm officially old enough to think that everything kids in high school do is stupid. Even though I literally do the same things, but I think that because I'm older it's better. Cognitive dissonance!
I used to love wrestling. I kinda wish I could really like something that much these days. The only thing I like that much now is hummus. I remember once in the 4th grade I went to a WCW wrestling event and I got a t shirt. I wore it to school one day and my mom put it through the wash and I got it back that night and then I wore it again the next day. Somebody called me out on it, and I didnt even notice that I had worn it the day before. That's love. Being so psyched on something that you completely forget what you did the day before. That's also why I buy two tubs of hummus at a time. So I can eat one one day and then eat another one the next day. Maybe I do love hummus as much as I loved wrestling. Thanks internal monologue for helping me feel better about my life! Also I had this video game and it was awesome. Hulk hogan's yellow mustache is pretty impressive. That's gotta be pretty tough to maintain. Also, how much would it suck for everyone to know you as a persona? What if you just didn't really feel like being the hulk that day? What if you just wanted to be Terry? IS that so bad? Why isn't Terry ever good enough for everyone? I was just tired of having a mustache ok? Gimme a break my wife divorced me and now I'm broke and I have to do freaking rent-a-center commercials. I'm old! Also hulk hogan definitely popularized that kissy face thing girls do. So next time you see a girl make that face, do this at her, suplex her, and then yell "Yeah Brother!" Do it you wont.
Also it is really hard to find hulk hogan clips online. You would think a guy could find a hulk hogan "i can't hear you" gif on the interwebs, or a clip of him just saying "Brother" or something. Nope. All the clips are like 9 minutes long. Weak sauce internet. I expected better of you. And just when I think you've lost your touch internet, you go and give me a gif like this. And COMPLETELY redeem yourself. Here's your gif.
People in guatemala drive like a boss. One collective really hard to beat boss. There are approximately 3 school busses per person, and all the bus drivers think they are stock car drivers (that's what they drive in nascar). We were driving out to this village in some mountain to treat the people there and we almost got in 3 head on collisions, all by passing trucks on single lane "highway" roads. One was a truck that had to slam the brakes on and pull into the shoulder to avoid us. Another one was a semi truck. It had 18 wheels. It was real big. We missed it by about 15 yards. I was 1/2 aroused, 1/2 excited, 1/2 scared, and 1/2 aroused (SFW). That is correct, I completed telophase and officially became 2 people via mitosis while in guatemala. I was sure to eat the new smaller me so I retained all of my powers. Dwight Schrute already has the power of a man and a fetus, I gotta at least keep the power of one man. Also, a 14 year old girl fell in love with me there. I told her I liked her shoes (in spanish, thanks Mr. Brillant) and she looked at how jacked and attractive I am and perhaps instantly thought that we were married. When one of the volunteers told her to get her family for a picture, she went and got me. So, sorry Brit, but I might be married to a 14 year old guatemalan in a mayan mountain farming village. Sorry I left this part out when I told you the story, but this seemed like the best way to tell you. So, yeah, I guess I'll be seeing you, or something. Sorry.
I am also officially old again. There were a bunch of high school kids on the trip with us to be volunteers with the kids and stuff, and on the last night I was there they were singing songs on the bus. I was not happy about it. Given, they were Jesus songs and those are usually the worst kind of songs, but really I was just annoyed that they were making noise. So basically what I'm getting at is that I'm officially old enough to think that everything kids in high school do is stupid. Even though I literally do the same things, but I think that because I'm older it's better. Cognitive dissonance!
I used to love wrestling. I kinda wish I could really like something that much these days. The only thing I like that much now is hummus. I remember once in the 4th grade I went to a WCW wrestling event and I got a t shirt. I wore it to school one day and my mom put it through the wash and I got it back that night and then I wore it again the next day. Somebody called me out on it, and I didnt even notice that I had worn it the day before. That's love. Being so psyched on something that you completely forget what you did the day before. That's also why I buy two tubs of hummus at a time. So I can eat one one day and then eat another one the next day. Maybe I do love hummus as much as I loved wrestling. Thanks internal monologue for helping me feel better about my life! Also I had this video game and it was awesome. Hulk hogan's yellow mustache is pretty impressive. That's gotta be pretty tough to maintain. Also, how much would it suck for everyone to know you as a persona? What if you just didn't really feel like being the hulk that day? What if you just wanted to be Terry? IS that so bad? Why isn't Terry ever good enough for everyone? I was just tired of having a mustache ok? Gimme a break my wife divorced me and now I'm broke and I have to do freaking rent-a-center commercials. I'm old! Also hulk hogan definitely popularized that kissy face thing girls do. So next time you see a girl make that face, do this at her, suplex her, and then yell "Yeah Brother!" Do it you wont.
Also it is really hard to find hulk hogan clips online. You would think a guy could find a hulk hogan "i can't hear you" gif on the interwebs, or a clip of him just saying "Brother" or something. Nope. All the clips are like 9 minutes long. Weak sauce internet. I expected better of you. And just when I think you've lost your touch internet, you go and give me a gif like this. And COMPLETELY redeem yourself. Here's your gif.
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