I was sitting in class this morning and had an idea. Normally I would say it was a genius idea like I do for the rest of my ideas, but in reality I think this one would result in a lot of deaths. What is my idea, you ask? A train whistle that changes pitch to counter the Doppler effect. I really want one for my future personal railroad system. There would be a computer or something that measures the speed of the train and calculates the necessary rate of change in frequency necessary to make somebody standing at the crossing just hear one whistle pitch. What would be the purpose of this whistle? To make learned people of science like me hear trains and say, "oh they must have a Doppler counter whistle. That is really cool" and also to make sure that normal people are really confused and increase their likelihood to get hit by trains. Trains are dangerous people. Consider yourself warned.
Welp, that's all I have for now. Afternoon blog--complete.
This is a great, yet terrible idea. There is a train that runs behind my house at school and at around 4:30am every morning I hear this freaking train whistle. This train doesn't go in a straight line past my house, but instead sort of wraps around a river so I have to hear this whistle for a good 5 minutes. The perks of the doppler effect is that the train whistle is strong for only about 3 of those minutes, but with your invention I would be able to be miserable for two more minutes each morning. Do you know how much more misery that would add to my life?! God you are a genius.
ReplyDeletei'm confused by this invention... intuitively, it seems as though more people would die because of the common knowledge that the pitch changes as it gets closer, and it would not change, so they would die, thinking the train were much farther away then it really is. However, I think after this happened even once the effect on sales due to media coverage would be amazing, banking on the conductor's inner need to plow bitches down. Moreover, though, seeing this on the news would terrify the public so much that even hearing the slightest "choooooo-chooooo" sound would send them running in the opposite direction, thereby making train tracks the safest place for everyone but the hard of hearing. and lets face it... these people are far less likely to be hit by trains because they are way smarter than everyone else due to the fact that they cant hear, so they see. boom.
ReplyDeletein essence: train conductors buy it cus they want to pick off the infidels, and the public will be so petrified that it will soon become the safest invention in the history of train whistle inventions. you have your first investor.
also i like it cus matt hates it.