Big news people--I finished another roll of toilet paper last week! It was exactly a week ago today. November 11th was the last day that I used the last roll of toilet paper. Time to do some calculations. Here we go.
So i finished my last roll on September 16th, and this most recent one on November 11th. This time I spent. I significant amount of time away from my apartment, so I don't have to make a correction for breaks. Thirty days hath September, so that's 14 days in September, plus the 31 in October, plus 11 in November. 14+31+11=56. My last calculation was 54 days for my last roll, which puts me right on target to needing to buy toilet paper in 55(8)=440 days, which will be in tri 8. I will be treating real life patients by the time I have to buy toilet paper. That feels right. I'll essentially be a doctor before I have to purchase paper poop remover.
I just finished my last exam before thanksgiving, which is major cause for celebration. I learned this week that the smell of pumpkin pie stimulates arousal in male humans. I'm not sure how I'm going to use this information yet, but I'm sure I'll think of something. After all this is the mind that brought you the Doppler counter train whistle. It is pretty freaking smart.
I'm sure by now you've all heard about that 84 year old woman who got pepper sprayed at the occupy some city. I usually don't write about political things because I have way more important things to write about (i.e., dictators, toilet paper rolls, pancakes). But this is something I feel I must comment on. But really I just have a question. Why is the stuff on her face all white? Is pepper spray white or is she just emitting that stuff from her face? I also really wonder what she was doing to get that much pepper spray. Really you can't underestimate grandma strength or mischievousness. I bet she was the most rowdy person around. Think about your own family for a second. Who is the most likely to mouth off to everybody else and just do whatever they want. GRANDMA. Grandma every time. Do I still feel bad for granny pepper face? Of course. Would I bet against her having done something crazy? Not in a million years. That's the whole point of being old. Everybody knows that. By the way I really hope granny pepper face catches on as a nickname. That's a good nickname. Trust me, I know nicknames.
Also I feel like I need to write about Tim tebow. He is by far the funniest athlete around to me and not because of anything he does. I love that everybody feels so strongly about him. I watched the jets broncos game last night with some people who LOVE tebow. Hilarious. The guy can do nothing wrong. Anything he does right is the greatest play ever and any bad play is due to lack of experience or crappy receivers. I can't even tell you how many times I heard "he's just a winner" last night. Also C woosh said "that was a great football play" last night and it made me lol.
Here is my ideal Tim tebow stat line:
2/6 passing for 16 yards, TD
16 rush for 56 yards
17-10 win, Denver wins on the final drive, tebow gets credit for final drive, shutdown defense, and kickoff return for TD that scored the other 7 points in the 3rd quarter. Also I love tebowing. It's just funny to watch him tebow all over the place. Pretty much any fad where people get in inappropriate poses in funny places is funny to me. Leisure diving, planking, tebowing. All pure gold. More tebow please.
Right now I am in class being taught how to take tests. Uh bro. I think I can take a test. Why do you think I got 2 A's in your class? How have I made it through 17 years of school? By learning stuff? Nah. It's called beating the system and I learned how I do that a long time ago. Get on my level Mr.PhD in physiology.
Alright that's all for now. Don't expect a blog till Sunday because I'm gonna be in the woods. November camping for the win. Here's your haiku
Sleeping in the woods
I want to avoid one thing
Poison ivy wipe
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