TWO DAYS IN A ROW

Just so we're clear, this is three blogs in two days.  I'm in full on procrastination mode.  Straight college mode.  I think my brain is only capable of focusing while seated for like 2 hours a day.  And those 2 hours have to be in like 15 minute increments.  Lecture was not invented with smartphones in mind.  My god reddit, why must you be so much more interesting and witty than my professors?  Well I guess here I go again.  On my own.  Writing on the only blog I've ever known.  Just remembered that my computer doesnt do the 2 space period shortcut or autocorrect words into the proper contraction.  Expect very few contractions to be spelled correctly.

So i went to ref today like I usually do on Monday nights, only to get there and realize it was too wet to play.  So that kinda sucked.  Then I went to Walmart.  I came to the conclusion that there are 3 groups of people at walmart: the broke, the fat, and the ironic.  Often there are overlap between two groups, but almost never three.  You can have fat and broke, ironic and fat, etc.  This is based on nothing really, but we all know that it's fun to group people into narrow categories and make rules.  Structure is necessary even in comedy people.  Otherwise you end up with that weird video that Gabe gives Erin in the office to play at the halloween party that is really disturbing that she eventually turns off and tries to play that penis card game.  Don't know what I'm talking about?  Well then that last sentence should be even funnier to you because penis card game is way funnier out of context than in any context.  By the way, how nervous are/were you about clicking the penis card game link?  If you havent yet, turn you volume all the way up especially if you're in a place where pornography is frowned upon.  If you have, you'll know that I was bluffing in that last sentence.  

Do you sometimes wish that when I start on a topic like that Walmart groups thing above that I would actually finish the paragraph on that topic?  Too bad because this is my blog and I do what I want.  You know what the worst part about holiday weeks is?  No new TV episodes.  The only show to come through?  Dexter.  Given it's on a sunday so it isn't affected per se by thanksgiving travel or anything like that.  By the way, Dexter keeps killing it real hard this season.  So many twists, turns, and the like.  If you're not watching Dexter this season, do yourself a favor and catch up on all the episodes, especially if you have 9 hours or so to kill.  Really it'll end up being closer to about 450 minutes, which is about 7.5 hours because the episodes are 50 minutes long (give or take) and if you watch them online there's no wait time between episodes.  So in one average work day, you could easily fit in the whole season (thus far) of Dexter.  And given that most (read "all") of my readers are in school of some sort (read "non-med school health field grad school"), that means you're probably going into finals soon and you're really gonna want to waste all the time you can because, let's face it, winging it on tests is way more fun than actually studying and learning the material.  It's all about the thrill.  Some people go skydiving or have sex in public, or have sex while skydiving.  I take tests that I'm completely unprepared for.  Basically the same thing.  By the way, skydiving sex?  Bold move.

Well Chrstmas is coming up and that means one thing for Drew--buying something silly for Aaron and Toby.  Best Saturnalia tradition ever.  For those of you who don't know the tradition, we essentially just try to buy each other the stupidest things we can find for christmas.  Like last year I got Aaron like 200 chinese finger traps and Toby got like 700 temporary tattoos.  So something like that.  This paragraph is essentially just gonna be brainstorming for my christmas presents.  Letting the creative juices flow.  Just so we're clear, the creative juices are also known as creativity stimulating fluid and are produced by the choroid plexus in the brain ventricles (science joke).  First thought- Macaulay Culkin fathead.  Either in classic Home Alone scream pose or current creepy coked out version.  Whichever one, I just want the head.  That would be pretty awesome.  And it has to be like 3 feet tall.  Maybe I should just get one of them for Aaron and the other for Toby.  Just found out you can make custom fatheads.  But they cost 70 bucks at the cheapest.  I can't wait to be rich and just squander money on silly things like Macaulay Culkin fatheads.  If my future wife isn't into strange things on our walls she will be in for a rude awakening.  I'm honestly drawing blanks here for plausible christmas presents.  I'll have to discuss it with a few of my most trusted colleagues.  Alex and Wes, prepare to help me with present ideas.  Grad school is somewhat less conducive to creativity than undergrad was.  When all you do is hang out with your friends all day and play video games and stuff, some wild stuff gets thrown around.  By the way guys, I really want to play super smashed bros during our new years reunion.  Do any of you have N64?  Because if not, we may have a problem.  I mean we could always play a day long harry potter drinking game.  I have made no progress on the christmas present front.

Well I have nothing else to say now.  I think it's time to watch some more internet TV and continue to waste my life.  Maybe eat some clementines or something.  By the way, this cereal is super good.  I'm sure it's not good for you at all, but it tastes so right.  Things really should just always taste like blueberry muffin.  Blog.  Out.