I wore a bow tie today and killed it super hard. I got lots of comments, most of them sarcastically complimentary. I must say, I really like going bow tie. I would make it my thing if I didn't also look so good in regular ties. I am just so incredibly good looking. It's absurd.
Good news about the ants! They're all alive, and they're tunneling like madants. From both ends of the thing. If having ant farms wasn't so socially unacceptable I might decide to get a huge one some day. Like 6 feet tall with like 10000 ants. These things are actually sort of interesting. I gave them some bread, and they're totally eating it! Or maybe they're just hoarding it. I dont know because I cant see all the tunnels because some are on the back side of the thing. I don't know what you're doing back there ants, but I trust you. I see no reason to not trust a group of animals that coordinate together and stay in my house while I'm not around. Keep doing your thing ants. You're my bros (but really I'm sort of scared that you're going to try to overthrow me or somehow make one of these things. Ya I know you remember that thing Doug. Bugs are scary). Speaking of giant bugs, how crazy is this guy? Oh yeah no big deal, just bugs climbing on my head. And I mean, they're only like 7 inches long. What are they gonna do? Just eat my little finger while I'm not looking. Still the only thing I can think of is the crunch those things would make. I'm not convinced that one stomp would smush that thing. at least two stomps. But I digress. Because something important has been brought to my attention today that needs addressing.
This commercial is back on TV, according to sources on the east coast. This is a momentous occasion in my life. Because the song they sing speaks directly to my soul. Let's break it down line by line, shall we?
"oh pepperoni, how much I love ya"--great hook right there. You got my attention. Oh. Pepperoni? I do love ya. So mucha. I think this commercial will lead me to a place that I can get pepperoni at. I would like to know what about pepperoni they will be talking about. My attention is undivided. Next line please.
"makes all my subs-a, taste so much betta!"--I cannot think of a better way to follow that first line. What's that you say? Pepperoni on my subs-a? Please go on! What does it do to your subs-a? MAKES IT TASTE SO MUCH BETTA? Oh my. You are so right. Pepperoni does make all my subsa taste so much betta. So you couldn't think of two words that rhyme in the language you were singing in? Who cares? Just sing it in a mildly offensive fake italian accent that would make Mario blush! Boom. Best commercial ever. Also that's the end of the song. You only get two lines. Short and sweet. Sex joke.
End it all off with some awkward sexual tension between two "heterosexual male friends on a lunch date," and you've really got me for good. What an awesome commercial. Thank you subway for bringing this commercial back to me. Even though I don't have TV. Get that commercial on the daily show website so I can watch it 9 times every episode I watch online. By the way, does anybody know the proper order of punctuation in that last quote? Is it comma-quotes, or quotes-comma? Because I know when you're actually writing a quote the comma is first, but when you are just ironically air quoting something to make it more obvious that those two guys are involved in a homosexual interracial sexually charged relationship in their local subway, does the quote count as part of the word? They never taught us ironic quotation format in high school. Or anything about interracial gay relationships either. Come on school. You need to prepare us for the real world. I'm in a world that I never learned to be a part of. And that is why I hid behind my computer and write blogs instead of actually talk to people. SAP.
Well that seems like enough for now. Time to go through the motions while I work out and then come home and put off taking a shower and studying so that I can look at more stuff on the internet. Here's your gif.
Good news about the ants! They're all alive, and they're tunneling like madants. From both ends of the thing. If having ant farms wasn't so socially unacceptable I might decide to get a huge one some day. Like 6 feet tall with like 10000 ants. These things are actually sort of interesting. I gave them some bread, and they're totally eating it! Or maybe they're just hoarding it. I dont know because I cant see all the tunnels because some are on the back side of the thing. I don't know what you're doing back there ants, but I trust you. I see no reason to not trust a group of animals that coordinate together and stay in my house while I'm not around. Keep doing your thing ants. You're my bros (but really I'm sort of scared that you're going to try to overthrow me or somehow make one of these things. Ya I know you remember that thing Doug. Bugs are scary). Speaking of giant bugs, how crazy is this guy? Oh yeah no big deal, just bugs climbing on my head. And I mean, they're only like 7 inches long. What are they gonna do? Just eat my little finger while I'm not looking. Still the only thing I can think of is the crunch those things would make. I'm not convinced that one stomp would smush that thing. at least two stomps. But I digress. Because something important has been brought to my attention today that needs addressing.
This commercial is back on TV, according to sources on the east coast. This is a momentous occasion in my life. Because the song they sing speaks directly to my soul. Let's break it down line by line, shall we?
"oh pepperoni, how much I love ya"--great hook right there. You got my attention. Oh. Pepperoni? I do love ya. So mucha. I think this commercial will lead me to a place that I can get pepperoni at. I would like to know what about pepperoni they will be talking about. My attention is undivided. Next line please.
"makes all my subs-a, taste so much betta!"--I cannot think of a better way to follow that first line. What's that you say? Pepperoni on my subs-a? Please go on! What does it do to your subs-a? MAKES IT TASTE SO MUCH BETTA? Oh my. You are so right. Pepperoni does make all my subsa taste so much betta. So you couldn't think of two words that rhyme in the language you were singing in? Who cares? Just sing it in a mildly offensive fake italian accent that would make Mario blush! Boom. Best commercial ever. Also that's the end of the song. You only get two lines. Short and sweet. Sex joke.
End it all off with some awkward sexual tension between two "heterosexual male friends on a lunch date," and you've really got me for good. What an awesome commercial. Thank you subway for bringing this commercial back to me. Even though I don't have TV. Get that commercial on the daily show website so I can watch it 9 times every episode I watch online. By the way, does anybody know the proper order of punctuation in that last quote? Is it comma-quotes, or quotes-comma? Because I know when you're actually writing a quote the comma is first, but when you are just ironically air quoting something to make it more obvious that those two guys are involved in a homosexual interracial sexually charged relationship in their local subway, does the quote count as part of the word? They never taught us ironic quotation format in high school. Or anything about interracial gay relationships either. Come on school. You need to prepare us for the real world. I'm in a world that I never learned to be a part of. And that is why I hid behind my computer and write blogs instead of actually talk to people. SAP.
Well that seems like enough for now. Time to go through the motions while I work out and then come home and put off taking a shower and studying so that I can look at more stuff on the internet. Here's your gif.
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