Guess what me and Brittany have done this week

Figured I'd give you love birds a quick post for Fridays sake. Here is what I did yesterday.

Brittany is visiting this week, so of course we did what we had been waiting to do since last time we saw each other: go on slides. We went to city museum yesterday and there are so many slides. We climbed and slid down every place in that entire building. Major knee beat down but super awesome too. There were a whole bunch of little kids and I was doing some minor physical activity, so of course I was the creepy sweaty old guy running around with a bunch of little kids. It was cool. Parents weren't weirded out by me at all. Seeing a grown man crawl around in small holes and caves and stuff with your 7 year old daughter is probably a pretty standard occurrence.

But that's not the only thing me and Brittany had been waiting to do. We also made meatballs this week. Meatballs are pretty awesome. I could eat those things all day err day. Easily the most ingenious way to cook ground beef. When was ground beef invented? That seems like a pretty new thing. Meat paste. God I love this planet. Hey is your meat's texture too much like flesh? Here let me mash it through a playdoh machine and make it into a star cylinder. Freaking genius. What will we think of next?

Alright well I'll write you a real blog sometime in the next 4 days or so. I have finals coming up so don't expect too much out of me. I have a feeling you don't really expect much anyways these days. I've been busy alright? Grad school and stuff. Here's your gif. Sorry Tim I like to find my own material. Also this is from my phone so it's just a link. Lay off me, I'm starving.

http://i.imgur.com/ZJJHB.gif

pretty gif heavy

Well I don't really have anything to say for this blog but I really wanted to post this gif, so looks like I'm gonna have to blog  tonight.

I did my laundry tonight, and somebody left their clothes in the dryer before me. But this guys clothes were of a special variety.  First of all, they were covered in hair.  Second of all, they were still super wet.  As if he had just put them in the dryer and not ever turned it on.  Do people do that?  Nope.  But really I just took them out like a normal person so they can collect dust and mold in the basket overnight and now that guy's clothes will smell bad until he washes them all again.  Sorry dude.  You snooze you lose.  And by snooze I mean forget about your wet dryer laundry and by lose I mean lose the fungus-less-ness of your clothes.  Sucks bro.

I realized recently that it's really hard to have friends for real.  Like to actually know things about people and take a legitimate interest in their lives.  Exhausting.  I'm gonna go ahead and be satisfied with superficial friendships based on similar interests, and not based on depth of human connection.  That stuff's lame anyway.  And I think that is a good segway into this gif that I wanted to post.  Here is how I will be treating people who really want to get to know me from now on:

Brought to you by the man who also gave you this:

boards blog

Well it's been 2 weeks since my last blog post.  I apologize from the apex of my heart for the delay.  I've just been doing stuff, you know?  What have I been doing you ask?  Well I couldn't really tell you, but I know I've had a bunch of test that I have performed adequately on, so I must have been doing something. And now I will update you on some stuff.  Because that is what you are here for.  Mildly comedic takes on things that are only important to the internet version of myself.

Well first of all I've been eating pretzels a lot more recently.  Can we all agree that pretzels are awesome?  Because if we can't then I don't think we will be able to agree on anything.  This is, of course, taking into account that I'm only talking to those of you who do not have Crohn's disease.  Because gluten intolerance is nothing to joke about people.  It is probably something that will be on my pathology board exam, so that's something.  Also I forgot that those links are supposed to be funny. Sorry about that.  I'll try again later.    Also, speaking of my board exam, I have boards this weekend, so that's cool.  Also I have 3 exams next week.  And also at least one big one the week after that.  And then we should start finals pretty soon after that.  So that's a thing.  I'm usually not one to think of silly ways to remember facts that I don't need to know ever again, but I do have one that I would like to share with you all because I thought it was funny.  Irritable Bowel Syndrome causes pencil thin stools.  Do you know how I remember that?  Well you're gonna have to eat the popsicle to get the answer.  And the answer is because people use pencils to irritate their bowel.  HEYOOOOOOOO.  On that note, I would like to say that hinge is ginglymus.  Also syndesMOsis.  I hate myself.

I actually do have something pretty funny to say now.  It's a story that I would like to tell.  So some of you might remember a while back (roughly 1 month ago) I received some mysterious textbooks in the mail from a mystery man and I blogged about it.  For the sake of this post, he will now be called Erglegrew. (by the way, you are all going to want to spend some time right now to google "dr kelso erglegrew".  especially those of you who are familiar with both me and the origins of the face. GO NOW I TELL YOU)  Well anyway, I received an email from erglegrew about a week ago.  Turns out he is the owner of the company that I ordered the books from, and just by chance he does not like being called a "hipster terrorist."  I'm sure you're all scrambling though my blog posts right now to find those posts.  Well I deleted them at erglegrew's request.   But trust me they were funny.  Moral of the story:  sometimes when you call someone out on the internet, they own a large company with employees that google them from time to time and find their name in your blog and then read your blog and then their boss is very disappoint that you called him a terrorist.  Or maybe they just googled hipster terrorist, because that's an internet thing too.  Bottom line is that I learned a valuable lesson today.  When something really confusing happens, write all the details online and eventually someone will find you and not only will your problem be addressed, you might even be able to write another blog about it later!  And everything went better than expected.

Ansa cervicalis C1-4.  If I'm gonna be writing this silly thing, I'm at least going to get a little mini review of stuff that I already know.  Enchondroma: the most common benign tumor of the head. Neurofibromatosis aka von recklinghausen tumor: cafe au lait spots.  Boom science and stuff.

Oh also the ants are doing good.  I'm pretty sure I blogged about the ants.  Well theyre all alive and doing ant stuff.  Digging tunnels, being desperate to get out when I open the lid.  You know.  Normal stuff.  I definitely don't feel guilty when I open the lid and they freak out and try to spring towards the air.  Because that would be silly.  Compassion for animals that small?  Come on, they're not even cute.  Who cares about uncute animals?  Not this guy.  Also brittany comes to visit in about 9 days.  Give or take 0 days.  So that will be nice.  I'm certainly not mad about that.  Not sure how those two things were related.  Except that brittany hates cute animals.  She tells me all the time about how much she hates puppies.  Come on Brit, at least try to like puppies.  Even indifference would be nice.  Nobody hates puppies that much.  Please try a little bit.  We'll go to the pet store when you visit and look at puppies and maybe it'll hit a soft spot.  And then maybe we'll move on to getting you to not gag when you see babies.  One step at a time.

It's been really nice out the past 4 or 5 days here in Missouri.  I've worn pants every day anyway.  And right now my legs are super hot.  Like I'm talking if you licked cinnamon gum wrappers and covered both of my legs with them up to about my L2 dermatome.  Not cool, black jeans.  I thought we were cool (see what I did there?).

Alright it's just about time for me to get ready to play some basketball.  Because I do that now, because I'm super good at basketball. Except that I am the worst at offense in every sport.  I have realized this recently.  As I told my boy black doug this monday after soccer:  I was born a defender and I will die a defender.  They say that defense wins championships, but they also say that chicks dig the long ball.  So what if I defend the long ball?  do I win everything?  There are shockingly few picture of rex grossman when you google image sexy rexy.  Here's your gif.

Touche internet.  Touche.

Thursday....hearseday?

I wore a bow tie today and killed it super hard.  I got lots of comments, most of them sarcastically complimentary.  I must say, I really like going bow tie.  I would make it my thing if I didn't also look so good in regular ties.  I am just so incredibly good looking.  It's absurd.

Good news about the ants!  They're all alive, and they're tunneling like madants.  From both ends of the thing.  If having ant farms wasn't so socially unacceptable I might decide to get a huge one some day.  Like 6 feet tall with like 10000 ants.  These things are actually sort of interesting.  I gave them some bread, and they're totally eating it!  Or maybe they're just hoarding it.  I dont know because I cant see all the tunnels because some are on the back side of the thing.  I don't know what you're doing back there ants, but I trust you.  I see no reason to not trust a group of animals that coordinate together and stay in my house while I'm not around.  Keep doing your thing ants.  You're my bros (but really I'm sort of scared that you're going to try to overthrow me or somehow make one of these things.  Ya I know you remember that thing Doug.  Bugs are scary).  Speaking of giant bugs, how crazy is this guy?  Oh yeah no big deal, just bugs climbing on my head.  And I mean, they're only like 7 inches long.  What are they gonna do?  Just eat my little finger while I'm not looking.  Still the only thing I can think of is the crunch those things would make.  I'm not convinced that one stomp would smush that thing.  at least two stomps.  But I digress.  Because something important has been brought to my attention today that needs addressing.

This commercial is back on TV, according to sources on the east coast.  This is a momentous occasion in my life.  Because the song they sing speaks directly to my soul.  Let's break it down line by line, shall we?

"oh pepperoni, how much I love ya"--great hook right there.  You got my attention.  Oh.  Pepperoni?  I do love ya.  So mucha.  I think this commercial will lead me to a place that I can get pepperoni at.  I would like to know what about pepperoni they will be talking about.  My attention is undivided.  Next line please.

"makes all my subs-a, taste so much betta!"--I cannot think of a better way to follow that first line.  What's that you say?  Pepperoni on my subs-a?  Please go on!  What does it do to your subs-a?  MAKES IT TASTE SO MUCH BETTA?  Oh my.  You are so right.  Pepperoni does make all my subsa taste so much betta.  So you couldn't think of two words that rhyme in the language you were singing in?  Who cares?  Just sing it in a mildly offensive fake italian accent that would make Mario blush!  Boom.  Best commercial ever.  Also that's the end of the song.  You only get two lines.  Short and sweet.  Sex joke.

End it all off with some awkward sexual tension between two "heterosexual male friends on a lunch date," and you've really got me for good.  What an awesome commercial.  Thank you subway for bringing this commercial back to me.  Even though I don't have TV.  Get that commercial on the daily show website so I can watch it 9 times every episode I watch online.  By the way, does anybody know the proper order of punctuation in that last quote?  Is it comma-quotes, or quotes-comma?  Because I know when you're actually writing a quote the comma is first, but when you are just ironically air quoting something to make it more obvious that those two guys are involved in a homosexual interracial sexually charged relationship in their local subway, does the quote count as part of the word?  They never taught us ironic quotation format in high school.  Or anything about interracial gay relationships either.  Come on school.  You need to prepare us for the real world.  I'm in a world that I never learned to be a part of.  And that is why I hid behind my computer and write blogs instead of actually talk to people.  SAP.

Well that seems like enough for now.  Time to go through the motions while I work out and then come home and put off taking a shower and studying so that I can look at more stuff on the internet.  Here's your gif.