hello everyone
I apologize for my recent absence. I have encountered this thing called "having things that I have to do," which is a completely foreign concept to me. I was recently in my favorite state that I went to an undergraduate university in, Deraware, and I was reminded that I have a blog and that I have no fewer than 2 adoring fans who apparently still wipe away the digital cobwebs and check to see if I have graced the internet with a new blog post. And today, october 25th, till be that day.
Some of you may be asking, "Drew, what have you been so busy with that you couldn't have spent even one hour on this blog over the past 2 months?" Well you people are not gonna get an answer because I'm not trying to talk about that tonight. What am I talking about tonight? What will I be talking about? NOTHING. That's right. You're gonna get a classic tonight.
Does swiss cheese taste good as a grilled cheese? I'm thinking about making a grilled cheese later and I only have swiss. I'm kind of assuming that it'll work out fine, but you can't be sure these days. Uncertain times we live in. Uncertain times. Who is going to be the next president? What will the next flavor of mountain dew be? Will I ever be able to do laundry at the same rate at which I use underwear? We know none of these things. Yet we persevere. We continue on. You might even say we keep calm and carry on. I'm listening to a book on world war 2 right now in my motor vehicle and it is about 25 cds long. I am on the third cd. France has already surrendered. The narrator has a British accent. Numbers and I have recently had a following out, but if 2 years of a war takes 3 cds, and the war was 7 years long, should the book not be roughly 12 cds? It kinda makes me feel bad for France, but it a really condescending way. The message this author is sending France with this book seems to be, "you are the worst." You know what France, maybe you guys just don't have it in you. Maybe the whole war thing just isn't for you. You know what you guys do real well? Horizontal stripes and smugness. Maybe you guys should have invented horizontal stripes before world war 2 and then you coulda just stayed out of the whole thing and avoided the whole occupation and stuff. You could have been like (written in a french english accent) "hu hu, heetlair, we frehnch do not fight in ze battelles anymoooah! Look at zis bagayt (bagette)! Zis is not ze food for ze soljairs! Zis is ze food for deepeeng in maiy taeenee glass of coffeeeeee. HU HU HU" I'll have to let you guys know what happens after cd #3. Maybe it'll be a new blog segment. "What happened in world war 2, featuring Drew." I like it. And you all will too.
SPFP put me in his status today, tagging me as the guy in a horror movie who would have a super good plan for everyone to escape but nobody listens to him. It made me feel special. But not as special as when he wrote later, "but in real life mode Drew tells everyone to go outside and everyone does immediately." That is why they call me the decider. I can't imagine how anyone who doesn't have me tell them what to do ever does anything. The rest of the world must just wallow in their indecision. I like the word wallow. It's a good word.
Alright I think this will be the end of this blog. I hope you enjoyed this Blittany and SPFP. This blog is for you. Now here is your haiku and gif.
I apologize for my recent absence. I have encountered this thing called "having things that I have to do," which is a completely foreign concept to me. I was recently in my favorite state that I went to an undergraduate university in, Deraware, and I was reminded that I have a blog and that I have no fewer than 2 adoring fans who apparently still wipe away the digital cobwebs and check to see if I have graced the internet with a new blog post. And today, october 25th, till be that day.
Some of you may be asking, "Drew, what have you been so busy with that you couldn't have spent even one hour on this blog over the past 2 months?" Well you people are not gonna get an answer because I'm not trying to talk about that tonight. What am I talking about tonight? What will I be talking about? NOTHING. That's right. You're gonna get a classic tonight.
Does swiss cheese taste good as a grilled cheese? I'm thinking about making a grilled cheese later and I only have swiss. I'm kind of assuming that it'll work out fine, but you can't be sure these days. Uncertain times we live in. Uncertain times. Who is going to be the next president? What will the next flavor of mountain dew be? Will I ever be able to do laundry at the same rate at which I use underwear? We know none of these things. Yet we persevere. We continue on. You might even say we keep calm and carry on. I'm listening to a book on world war 2 right now in my motor vehicle and it is about 25 cds long. I am on the third cd. France has already surrendered. The narrator has a British accent. Numbers and I have recently had a following out, but if 2 years of a war takes 3 cds, and the war was 7 years long, should the book not be roughly 12 cds? It kinda makes me feel bad for France, but it a really condescending way. The message this author is sending France with this book seems to be, "you are the worst." You know what France, maybe you guys just don't have it in you. Maybe the whole war thing just isn't for you. You know what you guys do real well? Horizontal stripes and smugness. Maybe you guys should have invented horizontal stripes before world war 2 and then you coulda just stayed out of the whole thing and avoided the whole occupation and stuff. You could have been like (written in a french english accent) "hu hu, heetlair, we frehnch do not fight in ze battelles anymoooah! Look at zis bagayt (bagette)! Zis is not ze food for ze soljairs! Zis is ze food for deepeeng in maiy taeenee glass of coffeeeeee. HU HU HU" I'll have to let you guys know what happens after cd #3. Maybe it'll be a new blog segment. "What happened in world war 2, featuring Drew." I like it. And you all will too.
SPFP put me in his status today, tagging me as the guy in a horror movie who would have a super good plan for everyone to escape but nobody listens to him. It made me feel special. But not as special as when he wrote later, "but in real life mode Drew tells everyone to go outside and everyone does immediately." That is why they call me the decider. I can't imagine how anyone who doesn't have me tell them what to do ever does anything. The rest of the world must just wallow in their indecision. I like the word wallow. It's a good word.
Alright I think this will be the end of this blog. I hope you enjoyed this Blittany and SPFP. This blog is for you. Now here is your haiku and gif.
 |
| that haiku is dumb it was too introspective not enough fart jokes |
No comments:
Post a Comment