end of june

remember that time june is ending tomorrow?  weird huh? i must be getting old because I honestly have no idea where the time goes.  I did nothing all month except for like 3 things and now june is over? wtf mate.
That being said, the good old US of A's independence day is comin up right around the corner, and in honor of our nation's only important summer holiday, I would like to implement a new segment called "which is more american?"

Today's match-up: American flag beer cans vs. American flag shirts vs. american flag pants.  that's right, you get a 3 way matchup today.  I'm just in the mood for a three way i guess (see what I did there).

My personal vote is for america pants.  I mean, come on. america pants.  Sometime I'm gonna figure out how to make an online vote thing so all 5 of you can battle it out of these matchup things.  It's important that you vote, because like my boy P Diddy says, your choices are vote or die.

On a related note, I have recently been persuaded to start wearing tank tops.  Given, I don't have any tank tops, but I feel as though this article of clothing suits me.  First of all, I hate sleeves.  Always have, always will.  I don't know why I've put up with em for so long.  Second of all, I love spending money so this will give me an opportunity to buy new crap.  Lastly, i think tank tops will be the answer to how sweaty I am.  It's like your not wearing a shirt while wearing a shirt at the same time.  Plus, I'm jacked so that's always a plus.  2011 months 7-12: the half year of tank tops.

the more nipple you show, the better

They call me the last great american blogger.  sometimes.

more things

we're gonna start off today with a little STUFF I WAS THINKING ABOUT TODAY

1) When did time start?

2) egg noodles

3) Ok usually I know these are one word or phrase, but Chris Hansen got caught cheating on his wife. By hidden cameras.  BOOM minds blown.  They call me the news breaker.

I know there was something else but I can't think of it.  Oh actually I do remember
4) Owls

Now for Raichu the Hakiu writer writes you a haiku:

take a seat right there
you tricked all of those sick pervs
karma is a bitch

That was about Chris Hansen.

I've never had a turducken and I really wanna try one.  If someone can get their hands on one and get it to me somehow I would appreciate it.  Get on it, all five of you.  Assuming you still read this thing.  Let's be honest it really doesn't matter I'm gonna keep writing because this semester is super boring.

They call me the Jamaican blog-sled team member

if you like farts, here you go

This is the best thing i have ever heard about farts.  do yourself a favor and watch this right now. Now. No, really, watch it.

one more haiku before my afternoon block of classes:

i really like farts
they smell bad like i just pooped
but no solid there

one more thing

here's your haiku

out in arkansas
i met this dude named jason
he was super drunk

back in ack. shun.

whats up loyal followers.  feels like its been a while.  how ya been?  its been quite the week in the life of your boy, but you will be hearing about none of it.

so i'd like to start off with a "what's weirder" because its been forever since I did one of those. so here goes: what's weirder, when somebody gets fat really fast or when somebody gets skinny really fast?
there are conditions to this one: the person didn't have a disease or any really traumatic experience or anything that would make you feel bad for them.
 My vote is for getting skinny really fast, because then their head looks like it got huge.  One time a fat kid in middle school lost like 20 pounds over a summer and his head looked weird for like 2 years until he got taller and grew into his newly massive head.  It looked like it was always about to tip over, but if you watched it would be weird because when you're looking at someone's head and they catch you, you can't pretend like you were looking at the ground or spacing out or something.  Alright that's another topic all together, but you all know that this blog isn't massively popular because it has a succinct topic.  It's just not massively popular.  Boom.

Things I was thinking about today:

1) Hexagons

2) Blood

I know you've all missed this segment more than you can handle, so I'm gonna go ahead and give you another COLOR OF THE DAY

it's gray again. but this time with an 'a' instead of an 'e'

Shout out to my boy Jason in Arkansas.  If you find this blog and remember me from Route 66 the other night, I'll be impressed.  And also terrified.

The best around

One of my fantastic followers has suggested to me to create a new blog just for my haikus, but I think I'll just include a new segment into this blog called:  Raichu the Haiku (writer) writes haikus for you.  Too long a title you say? well they do call me "the excessively long haiku segment title inventor."  So now you know where that came from.  Without further ado, here is today's haiku:

this blog is so great
my words flow out like magic
shout out to green thumb

My apologies to all one of my followers who has not heard CWT1411 08-09's rendition of swagger like us because you will not understand the green thumb reference.  Sorry Alex.

Today I found out that I definitely have some sort of mood disorder, and the only cure is skateboarding.  I spent the majority of my morning with my teeth clenched because of a mysterious onset of pure fury only to find out that after i pushed super hard like 4 times and bombed a hill I was super psyched on my whole life.  So shout out to maple trees for donating their lives to my skateboard.

Today's color of the day is brown.

I was wearing brown pants today and trees are brown so I think it's only fitting that the color of the day is brown.

Also I buzzed my hair today for the first time in like 3 years. Fortunately I'm super good looking so I can have whatever haircut I want and still kill it.  I think having short hair will probably make me shower less often, but who says that's a bad thing?
Answer: everyone.  Everyone says that's a bad thing.


Here's a new segment called "Things I was thinking about for no reason today"

1) Greg Ostertag

2) "I Spy"  Featuring Eddie Murphy and Owen Wilson

Well I'm goin to the lake with Fabrezzio, Frank, Evelyn, and Stephaun tomorrow so I might not have a post for the next couple days, but I think this one was awesome enough to hold you all over until saturday or whenever it is that I'm getting back.

They call me the UnaBlogger

i'm on a boat

my boy Fabrezzio's boat is almost ready for action.  Gettin psyched. Almost in the mood for The Final  Countdown?

Also I wrote a haiku about this semester. Because everyone knows that they call me Riachu the Haiku.  Writer.  Haiku follows:

this room is so dark
i sit here all day err day
time to take a nap

freakin masterpiece.  just flipped the world of poetry on its head and then right back on its feet again.  That's how hard it flipped.  Speaking of flipped I can officially do 360 flips. and I was 3/3 at double flips today.  skateboarding. TOMORROW IS GO SKATEBOARDING DAY.  I'll have to make time to go roll around a little bit.  Stupid school, always getting in the way of important things like skateboarding.  go back and trace that train of thought.  my limbic system is off the hook.  And the google dictionary really needs to learn that limbic is a word.  Also nobody says off the hook anymore.

color of the day is pale yellow.  how does everybody feel about my links to solid colors all the time?  I would make them links to actual things but I don't want anyone to be prejudiced against any of the colors of the day because they don't like the cartoon character or inanimate object I chose to demonstrate the color.  Silver sonic is an exception because everyone likes sonic.

What is weirder: afghani accents or iraqi accents? oh you can't tell the difference? that makes you a racist.  Get it together, we're at war for the people's hearts and minds.

They call me Buffy the Blog Slayer

one more thing that is completely irrelevant

recently i slammed pretty hard.  not like serious injury hard but hard enough to jar my body around pretty good.  immediately after i hit the ground i was super hyped.  don't know why.  probably some sort of endorphin or opioid release or something.  I don't really know where I'm going with this except that sometimes it's good to slam. i recommend bleeding at least once a week. not like cut yourself bleeding, but you know what i mean. this post does not fit the narrative of this blog.

one more question--if this post is irrelevant to this blog and this blog is irrelevant to everything else, does that make this post relevant to something?
answer--no.

happy sunday to all five of you

A few thoughts, most of them bathroom related.
1) How often is often enough to clean your shower/tub?  I think mine is getting kind of gross and I think I've only cleaned it like two or three times since I moved in like 10 months ago. Just curious what protocol is.
2) I must lose more hair than any non-bald person in the history of the world.  Everywhere I look there are more of my hairs.  Does everyone lose like 15 pounds of hair every 20 minutes or is it just me?  Also how fast do I regrow hair if so much falls out all the time?
3) How fast do most people go through a bar of soap?  I've never actually calculated it but it feels like one every like 10 days.  And how small does your soap get before you switch it out?  Do people even use soap anymore? I tried body wash a couple times but it sucks.  I'm not about to buy a loufa or however you spell it, and trying to manage body wash with just your hands is miserable.  One time I had that shampoo/body wash/toothpaste/contact solution/breakfast goo but I didn't like that either.  Give me a bottle of shampoo and a bar of soap.  Call me old fashioned but I think goo goes on your head and congealed fat goes on your body.
4) I bought toilet paper in August 2010 when I moved in and I haven't bought any more since.  I think I go through like 2 rolls a semester.  Am I like the most efficient wiper of all time, or do I suck at wiping, or do normal people use toilet paper at the same pace as me?
5) How many things can you have a still count it as a few?  At what point does the amount become a bunch? like 6? 7? 10? 

I have 4 tests in the next 3 days and this is the stuff that I think about.  I think I have some sort of non-anxiety problem.  I think that makes me a sociopath? Eh.

Today's color of the day is neon orange.  I wore two shirts today and both were bright orange.  That's how you set a tone for the day. 

Here's a what's weirder for ya- really long fingernails vs. really long toenails
Obviously really long toenails are way less functional, but it's way harder to have even comparably long toenails.  To be honest this topic is making me nauseated so I'm gonna stop now.

I think this is a really long blog.  Too long? Something tells me nobody will actually read this all the way through.  Not until now anyway, since I called you out.

READ IT! I'M IMPORTANT!

it's goin down

Before you even think of reading this blog, go here.  Go on.  Do it.









Now that you're done roflcoptering, I can tell you about this breakfast I'm having.  Pancakes all up in my face hole.  I decided to make 10 inch diameter chocolate chip pancakes this morning and let me tell you they are fantastic.

Pancakes are literally the best thing that ever happened to me.  Growing up I would eat chocolate chip pancakes at every chance I got.  Pancakes were my best friend.  Pancakes played catch with me when I was a kid.  Pancakes read me stories before I went to bed.  Pancakes taught me how to ride a bike.  Pancakes were there when I went to a new school in a new town in the 2nd grade.  Pancakes took me to my first baseball game and bought me one of those ice creams in the tiny helmet.  Pancakes gave me "the talk" when I was 11.  Pancakes bought me my first car when I was 16.  Pancakes were there when I went away to college and left everybody back home.  Pancakes will be my best man at my wedding.  That's how close me and pancakes are.  Pancakes made me the man I am today, and I'm proud to say that me and pancakes will be bff's forever.  That's right. Best friends forever forever.

Today's color is golden brown in honor of my boy pancakes.

I'm doing another "what is weirder" today.
The matchup--this thing vs.this lady's mouth

both of those pictures came up when I googled "weird fish."


I don't know how I'm going to top this blog.

pickin up steam

BOOM just increased my followers by 250%.  They don't call me the blog follower count grower for nothing.  I know nobody actually calls me that and maybe nobody even talks to me but at least they're following my blog because it's fantastic.

Today I would like to give everyone a lesson on how to make a pizza. Step 1- buy a crust. nobody has time to make crust. stop kidding yourself.  Step 2- take everything out of the fridge that tastes good with cheese.  Step 3- put it all on the pizza crust and bake it.  That is literally the best way to make a pizza in your house.  Don't believe me?  Give it a shot and tell me if it's not at least edible. 

Your color of the day is silver.  Kind of like grey, but for rich people.

So it's finally the weekend.  I considered starting a Friday song for the weekend, but everybody knows that this is really the only song that's appropriate to get you psyched for the weekend.  So that will be your friday song for the weekend every week from now until someone makes a better weekend song.  And don't even try to say that Rebecca Black song.  Not because it sucks, but because its suckiness is played out now.  Let's get back to the classics people.


The new harry potter trailer just came out apparently.  Looks fantastic.  I can't wait to go watch it here.  My apologies to anyone not in St. Louis because there is no way you will get that reference.

Well I have no outro to this blog, so

paper towels surprisingly strong

I dropped a half used roll of paper towels in the shower today.  Don't ask me how or why they were near the shower, they just were ok?  I was pleasantly surprised that a) they were still in roll form after like 90 seconds of being in the shower  with the water on and b) I could essentially ring them out like actual towels.  I mean I threw them out anyway but I think this incident shows that I'm buying the right kind of paper towels.

Bottom line- if you're buying paper towels with one ply and no quilts, it's time to put down the sippy cup and step into big boy land.  You might think you're saving money, but you're just gonna have to use twice as many.  Come on.  Use your head.

I still haven't made jello.  I really need to step my game up.  In the time it took me to write this blog I definitely could have made jello.

Your color of the day today is light grey.

And to close out this killer blog is another 'which is weirder?'
Today's matchup- butter eating vs. butter statues.
which is weirder? you decide

Now if you will excuse me, it's time for a pizza to enter my face.

They call me Alexander the Great Blogger

hockey

name change

Also, I decided I need a new blog name.  The current one is lame and I don't like it.  Suggestions will be taken via carrier pigeon only.

wednesday

First of all, huge shout out to whoever decided we should eat eggs.  Great choice by that guy.  My egg sandwich that I just made had chicken in it, which kind of makes me feel like a jerk, but it was fantastic.  Also shout out to Frank, who's hot sauce kills it err day.

I would also like to let everyone know that despite my massive cherry binge the other day, I have had no gastrointestinal stress (at least none that's out of the ordinary).  My stomach is tough as freakin nails. 

And now for a new segment that I'm going to try to implement pretty often--color of the day.
Today's color of the day is grey.

Call me butter, because I'm on a roll with this blog.

hockey

if god cares about hockey, the bruins will win game 7 on wednesday.
i'll be pretty upset if we get beat by the swedish ginger twins.

By the way--Horticulture is the industry and science of plant cultivation including the process of preparing soil for the planting of seeds, tubers, or cuttings

i was pretty sure it had to do with plants but really I had no idea what horticulture meant. we don't farm in new england.

blog #2

Day 2 of the blog experiment.  Not sure how long to keep track of how many days I've been doing this.  I guess you'll have to keep reading every day to find out  (see what I did there? now you're hooked).

There is no 'e' in ridiculous.  You can't diculous again, so it's not rediculous.  Just thought I would get that out of the way.

Yesterday i ate a whole bag of cherries and I'm curious what affect that is going to have on my digestion.  And by digestion I mean poop.  Be on the lookout for that update.  On a related note, I  would like to compile a list of the best kinds of jello:
1.Blue
2. Raspberry
3. Everything else

Jello doesn't get the credit it deserves for being awesome.  There's nothing else that you can eat without dying that is like jello.  I could eat jello all day err day and never get tired of it.  Definitely making jello today.

Now for your daily "What is weirder?" to close out this killer blog.
What is weirder: canadian tuxedos or tuxedo tanktops?

sidenote- that guy in the tanktop is apparently the premire tuxedo tanktop model in the world.  Literally the only picture of anyone on the whole internet (meaning the first page of google images) in a tuxedo tanktop.  Guy dominates the market.

2/2. Killing this blog.

Blog #1

Hello followers

Today is the day I start my first blog.  I've been getting requests to start blogging because I am awesome.  So far the number of people who think this is a good idea is 3.  I am not one of those people.


For now I will keep it short, and leave you with the first of what will probably be a recurring theme on this blog.  It's called, "What is weirder?"

What is weirder: Making out in a public pool, or secretly watching people make out in a public pool from a distance?

Boom. Blog #1 done.