I was sitting in class this morning and had an idea. Normally I would say it was a genius idea like I do for the rest of my ideas, but in reality I think this one would result in a lot of deaths. What is my idea, you ask? A train whistle that changes pitch to counter the Doppler effect. I really want one for my future personal railroad system. There would be a computer or something that measures the speed of the train and calculates the necessary rate of change in frequency necessary to make somebody standing at the crossing just hear one whistle pitch. What would be the purpose of this whistle? To make learned people of science like me hear trains and say, "oh they must have a Doppler counter whistle. That is really cool" and also to make sure that normal people are really confused and increase their likelihood to get hit by trains. Trains are dangerous people. Consider yourself warned.
Welp, that's all I have for now. Afternoon blog--complete.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Keith Hernandez
I feel like makin blogs
Well everybody, it looks like my busy part of the semester is winding down. I mean, I do have a quiz thursday and a test friday, and finals start in like 2 and a half weeks, but I'm gonna go with it's over. I'm in full on Thanksgiving mode. You know how I can tell it's almost winter time? Because I've completely stopped exercising. Pretty soon I'll put on like 8 pounds and start to feel really bad about myself but not do anything about it till the spring because it's too dark out in the afternoon to actually go outside, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna start lifting and using the treadmill like a normal person. It's 4:50 right now and it's getting dark. Time for some mild seasonal depression to kick in. I can't wait to be upset for the next 4 months. On another note it's like 65 degrees out right now. The date is November 15th. Oh word?
Midwest winter sucks. All the cold, minimal snow, and no mountains. I can feel the hatred boiling up in my stomach for the midwest. If you like hills, hate sidewalks, and love driving on highways, this is the place for you! I'm so glad I started writing this blog so I can get all worked up for no reason. It's ok Drew, only 8 more days till you get to go home and have Thanksgiving weekend. It's gonna be fine. Plus, you're really good looking and you're gonna stay young forever, so that's pretty cool too.
I managed to get an Incomplete as a midterm grade this semester. I didn't even know that was a possibility. I think it's week 11 of the semester and I just took my first pathology test that counts towards my grade today. That's cool I guess. Speaking of things that are borderline impossible, let me tell you about a goal that was scored in the league I ref last night. A guy took a shot from about 12 yards wide of the near post and maybe 4 yards from the goal line. He hit near post, and the ball still managed to go in side net at the far post without hitting anything else. For those of you who don't understand what I just said, don't worry. Because I've been thinking about it for about 20 hours now and I have no idea how it happened. For all the pro athletes out there who like to thank God for being on their side during games, God hasn't even been watching your games. He hasn't been in church, he hasn't guided wars, or sending knights on quests. He has been planning this goal and only this goal since the beginning of man. I'm honestly surprised the whole universe hasn't exploded yet. Don't be surprised when you start seeing chunks of sky literally falling to the ground. The whole atmosphere is going to solidify into little chunks and start falling onto your car, which by the way will soon be made entirely out of broccoli stalks. God is done with the whole universe guiding thing. He's had enough, I can feel it. The end is nigh.
Last weekend most of my college friends were back at our great alma mater for homecoming. I, unfortunately, could not attend, do to my responsibilities as an adult. Also I was at the best seminar of my entire life, but I won't be writing about that on this site so that nobody looking for me and that technique in the future encounters this blog. Patients people. Professional school. One of my friends, however, reminded me of my last homecoming experience. Club sports party. 2009. Shaq and I found, yes FOUND, a trumpet outside in someone's back yard. We proceeded to play said trumpet all over the party. And there was a mud wrestling circle. It was AWESOME. The only problem with me going back to homecoming at any point in the future is that I'm going to feel real real real old. I don't know how my psyche is going to handle being back at college. I did get back to school last spring, but even then I felt old and I was college aged. What's gonna happen when I'm 24 and I go back and there's a bunch of 18 year old kids tailgating with me? The last 18 year old I was at a party with was white doug, and we all know how that worked out? Oh you mean you don't know because most of my blog readers weren't at chirogames 2010? Ok. That's fair. But really I'm legitimately nervous about going back to college at any point in the future. Like half the people I hang out with are legitimate adults now. I mean they don't necessarily act like it, but their faces are adult faces and we drink in public because we live in Missouri. Yeah I still skateboard and stuff, but I'm an adult? Cognitive dissonance.
11/11/11 happened recently. Thank god I was not at college for that. You know what I did on 11/11/11? I learned stuff. All day. And I went to bed at like 10:30. Real life mode. My boy Zisk did send me a text about it at 11:11am, but for the most part I didn't even notice that it existed. I remember my very first 11:11 wish. It was sophomore year of college, and there were these 3 girls talking to Tim in my room. I made my wish because they demanded I did so, and within 5 or 10 minutes they left, presumably because I was being a terrible host. My wish came true! That's how I knew for sure that I should only use this 11:11 power for good, so I have acted like I hate 11:11 ever since. But in reality that night turned me into a super hero. My super hero name you ask? Eleven. My costume you ask? An adult onesy with two vertical stripes starting mid clavicle and running down to the feet. Boom. I just super heroed all of you. I'm so creative. And I'm also a super hero, so that helps. I did wish for creativity one 11:11. The only bad thing is that my abilities are only useful in non-urgent situations. If you have a problem at like 6:00, you're gonna have to wait five hours and 11 minutes for some help. Also I only get one wish per 11:11. So if you decide to become my evil genius arch enemy, you should probably develop some sort of death machine that takes less than 12 hours, because at some point in that 12 hour period I'm gonna be able to wish my way out. Or you could like hypnotize me or something so that I fall asleep every time the clock strikes 11:10 and I sleep for 2 minutes. That would neutralize me big time. I'm a pretty lame super hero. But still a super hero. But I do get mocked at all the super secret superhero conferences at that marriot by the airport. But at least I get to go. But I did just divulge the secret location. But they'll probably still let me go. But they'll probably put me at the table with the BO Emitter and Accelerated Fat Storage Man. But those guys are kinda cool.
Here's your haiku
I ripped through my pants
there's a hole up in the crotch
I'll keep wearing them
Well everybody, it looks like my busy part of the semester is winding down. I mean, I do have a quiz thursday and a test friday, and finals start in like 2 and a half weeks, but I'm gonna go with it's over. I'm in full on Thanksgiving mode. You know how I can tell it's almost winter time? Because I've completely stopped exercising. Pretty soon I'll put on like 8 pounds and start to feel really bad about myself but not do anything about it till the spring because it's too dark out in the afternoon to actually go outside, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna start lifting and using the treadmill like a normal person. It's 4:50 right now and it's getting dark. Time for some mild seasonal depression to kick in. I can't wait to be upset for the next 4 months. On another note it's like 65 degrees out right now. The date is November 15th. Oh word?
Midwest winter sucks. All the cold, minimal snow, and no mountains. I can feel the hatred boiling up in my stomach for the midwest. If you like hills, hate sidewalks, and love driving on highways, this is the place for you! I'm so glad I started writing this blog so I can get all worked up for no reason. It's ok Drew, only 8 more days till you get to go home and have Thanksgiving weekend. It's gonna be fine. Plus, you're really good looking and you're gonna stay young forever, so that's pretty cool too.
I managed to get an Incomplete as a midterm grade this semester. I didn't even know that was a possibility. I think it's week 11 of the semester and I just took my first pathology test that counts towards my grade today. That's cool I guess. Speaking of things that are borderline impossible, let me tell you about a goal that was scored in the league I ref last night. A guy took a shot from about 12 yards wide of the near post and maybe 4 yards from the goal line. He hit near post, and the ball still managed to go in side net at the far post without hitting anything else. For those of you who don't understand what I just said, don't worry. Because I've been thinking about it for about 20 hours now and I have no idea how it happened. For all the pro athletes out there who like to thank God for being on their side during games, God hasn't even been watching your games. He hasn't been in church, he hasn't guided wars, or sending knights on quests. He has been planning this goal and only this goal since the beginning of man. I'm honestly surprised the whole universe hasn't exploded yet. Don't be surprised when you start seeing chunks of sky literally falling to the ground. The whole atmosphere is going to solidify into little chunks and start falling onto your car, which by the way will soon be made entirely out of broccoli stalks. God is done with the whole universe guiding thing. He's had enough, I can feel it. The end is nigh.
Last weekend most of my college friends were back at our great alma mater for homecoming. I, unfortunately, could not attend, do to my responsibilities as an adult. Also I was at the best seminar of my entire life, but I won't be writing about that on this site so that nobody looking for me and that technique in the future encounters this blog. Patients people. Professional school. One of my friends, however, reminded me of my last homecoming experience. Club sports party. 2009. Shaq and I found, yes FOUND, a trumpet outside in someone's back yard. We proceeded to play said trumpet all over the party. And there was a mud wrestling circle. It was AWESOME. The only problem with me going back to homecoming at any point in the future is that I'm going to feel real real real old. I don't know how my psyche is going to handle being back at college. I did get back to school last spring, but even then I felt old and I was college aged. What's gonna happen when I'm 24 and I go back and there's a bunch of 18 year old kids tailgating with me? The last 18 year old I was at a party with was white doug, and we all know how that worked out? Oh you mean you don't know because most of my blog readers weren't at chirogames 2010? Ok. That's fair. But really I'm legitimately nervous about going back to college at any point in the future. Like half the people I hang out with are legitimate adults now. I mean they don't necessarily act like it, but their faces are adult faces and we drink in public because we live in Missouri. Yeah I still skateboard and stuff, but I'm an adult? Cognitive dissonance.
11/11/11 happened recently. Thank god I was not at college for that. You know what I did on 11/11/11? I learned stuff. All day. And I went to bed at like 10:30. Real life mode. My boy Zisk did send me a text about it at 11:11am, but for the most part I didn't even notice that it existed. I remember my very first 11:11 wish. It was sophomore year of college, and there were these 3 girls talking to Tim in my room. I made my wish because they demanded I did so, and within 5 or 10 minutes they left, presumably because I was being a terrible host. My wish came true! That's how I knew for sure that I should only use this 11:11 power for good, so I have acted like I hate 11:11 ever since. But in reality that night turned me into a super hero. My super hero name you ask? Eleven. My costume you ask? An adult onesy with two vertical stripes starting mid clavicle and running down to the feet. Boom. I just super heroed all of you. I'm so creative. And I'm also a super hero, so that helps. I did wish for creativity one 11:11. The only bad thing is that my abilities are only useful in non-urgent situations. If you have a problem at like 6:00, you're gonna have to wait five hours and 11 minutes for some help. Also I only get one wish per 11:11. So if you decide to become my evil genius arch enemy, you should probably develop some sort of death machine that takes less than 12 hours, because at some point in that 12 hour period I'm gonna be able to wish my way out. Or you could like hypnotize me or something so that I fall asleep every time the clock strikes 11:10 and I sleep for 2 minutes. That would neutralize me big time. I'm a pretty lame super hero. But still a super hero. But I do get mocked at all the super secret superhero conferences at that marriot by the airport. But at least I get to go. But I did just divulge the secret location. But they'll probably still let me go. But they'll probably put me at the table with the BO Emitter and Accelerated Fat Storage Man. But those guys are kinda cool.
Here's your haiku
I ripped through my pants
there's a hole up in the crotch
I'll keep wearing them
Thursday, November 10, 2011
back to the blog again
it really feels like I've been letting you all down with the blog lately. I'm busy alright? Grad school is actually starting to feel like grad school. I always knew my life would be busy at some point, and that point is now. So for all of you who painstakingly follow my blog, I apologize. Although most of you are in grad school anyway so you really should be studying or something. Stop wasting your time on silly websites with K Shankar backgrounds and get to work. But seriously keep reading even though I haven't written much. Did I mention I haven't written much? Yes. 3 times this paragraph. Next topic.
You know what I really dont like? Fingernails. I really wish they would stop growing. It seems like that as an adult I should be able to figure out how to make things stop growing. Has nobody figured that out yet? Our best defense against things getting really big is still "cut it off?" Come on science. I know I ask you for things pretty often, but this seems like something you should have tackled a long time ago. You haven't even replaced feet yet, and I asked for that like a month ago. Last paragraph. Ok maybe I didn't ask science specifically, but I did whine about it. Clearly that was a cry for help, and if science didn't get that then it doesn't understand me and maybe we shouldnt even be together at all! What do I have to do, science? Beg? Spell it out for you? No. I cannot and will not. You know what? I really like spelling cannot as one word. I'm happy somebody decided that was an acceptable way of spelling. I assume it was Britain that did that, probably back before they were Great Britain. It kinda got a big head and stopped trying when it changed its name to Great Britain. Like when Prince became that symbol. Come on Prince, we get that you're weird. At some point you gotta stop trying to outdo yourself. Creativity is one thing, and forced creativity is also a thing. But it is a worse thing. That's how you end up with the Zune. It's taking forever to image search for zune because everybody is too ashamed to upload a picture of their zune to the internet. It might as well have asked me "are you sure you wanted to search for zune? nobody has searched for that thing in like 6 years. Just get an ipod brojohn." I'm an apple fanboy. I love you Steve Wozniak. You're the only Steve I have left.
Oh man I have sort of missed this. Blogging in class is just not the same. I'm constantly worried that someone is watching me and judging me for still having a blog. But here in my bed listening to pandora with no pants on it just feels so right. I actually am wearing pants. Or am I? I am. I recently came across a book called F U Penguin thanks to my boy Black Doug. If you like this blog, you will probably like F U Penguin way more than you like this blog. It's like my blog but streamlined funniness and strictly about cute animals. So Meghan and Kristen, if you read this, get that book. and read the crap out of it. also F U Penguin is a website, and it swears more than this blog because the author of F U Penguin will not have patients in the future who are internet savvy. Or patients at all for that matter. I, on the other hand, will hopefully have patients and hopefully the internet will still exist in 3 years. otherwise I have no idea how I'm going to spend my future time. Not writing a blog? Psh. Don't think so. By the way, in case I haven't pushed this book enough, here is another time for me writing F U Penguin. Cut me a check BZA! I'm broke and I haven't been discovered yet so I don't have a book deal. Somebody owes me a book deal. I've been working not that hard at this blog for multiple months now. I should be rewarded for this somehow. Somebody get me a book deal STAT. Statim in latin means immediately. Don't believe me? Ask Ms. Roy, former Westwood High School latin teacher. I hope this is the first hit when somebody googles "Ms. Roy Westwood Latin" so I'm gonna go ahead and put it in quotes. I miss you Ms. Roy. I'm positive you won't remember me but I always really liked you and I hope you're doing well. Also I remember you liked Wessagusset Beach. I think it was a beach. "Ms. Roy Westwood Latin Wessagusset" hit me up google.
I'm not sure if I told you all what I was for halloween this year, but if I have not, here it is. I started off as Bill Nye, then decided I wanted to be juggalo Bill Nye, and then decided that juggalo facepaint was way too scary and went back to Bill Nye regular style. Dude, juggalos are scary. My boy Wes thought it was funny, but very few other people would have really got the reference and it would have been a real awkward night for me. You know the worst part of halloween? The 2 people at every party who still think that halloween is supposed to be about scary things. News flash bro. Halloween hasn't been about scary things since 1800's Mexico. It's about candy, funny costumes, and parties, just like every other holiday now. Not trying to see your weirdly realistic gory mask or listen to your creepy voice. Oh that was your real voice? You had throat cancer and now you talk like that all the time? Well I don't feel bad because you chose a really unfortunate mask to go with your otherwise not creepy but in this context pretty creepy voice. Shoulda seen that one coming. I'm getting a feeling I already kinda blogged about this. Welp, you already knew this is a free website and I'm not a journalist and I have no artistic integrity.
Guys. Thanksgiving is right around the corner. You know what that means? I get to massively overeat and not feet bad about it yay! I'm not sure if I've blogged about pie yet. I love pie. Wow I was weird in middle school. I used to watch those videos all the time. And eskimo bob. But that's besides the point. I honestly cant decide even a little bit what my favorite thanksgiving food is. For years I would not eat stuffing. Let me go on record saying I was an IDIOT. Stuffing is one of the greatest inventions ever. You know what happiness is? Seeing two giant pots in the line of food for thanksgiving and having them both filled with different flavors of stuffing. That's how awesome stuffing is. You can make it out of WHATEVER YOU WANT and it's still the greatest food around. And then there is cranberry sauce. And there is warm rolls. And there is gravy. Are you kidding me with gravy? Can anyone beat gravy? I mean we shouldnt even bother going to war anymore. Let's just send the other countries gravy and they will love us so hard. Let's take a look at countries we've been in wars with in the past. 1-England. You know when we started fighting with England? They wanted all our gravy and we wanted Boston Harbor tea or something. Then we beat them and we started selling them gravy and now it's cool. 2-Germany. They had all that schnitzel and no gravy. what's chicken without gravy? Just chicken. I'd be pissed too. 3-Russia. All those potatoes, no gravy. come on. who didn't see that one coming. It's history kids. Watch the history channel.
Alright well this has been great. I've missed you all telling me how funny I am. I hope you all enjoyed seeing the real life Santa last weekend. I look forward to talking at you via the internet again soon. Here's your haiku. And I would also like another installment of "Comment haikus by everyone else" because your haikus are always super funny.
F U Pengiun book
stuff white people like book deal
Drew is getting screwed
They call me the resurgent blogger
You know what I really dont like? Fingernails. I really wish they would stop growing. It seems like that as an adult I should be able to figure out how to make things stop growing. Has nobody figured that out yet? Our best defense against things getting really big is still "cut it off?" Come on science. I know I ask you for things pretty often, but this seems like something you should have tackled a long time ago. You haven't even replaced feet yet, and I asked for that like a month ago. Last paragraph. Ok maybe I didn't ask science specifically, but I did whine about it. Clearly that was a cry for help, and if science didn't get that then it doesn't understand me and maybe we shouldnt even be together at all! What do I have to do, science? Beg? Spell it out for you? No. I cannot and will not. You know what? I really like spelling cannot as one word. I'm happy somebody decided that was an acceptable way of spelling. I assume it was Britain that did that, probably back before they were Great Britain. It kinda got a big head and stopped trying when it changed its name to Great Britain. Like when Prince became that symbol. Come on Prince, we get that you're weird. At some point you gotta stop trying to outdo yourself. Creativity is one thing, and forced creativity is also a thing. But it is a worse thing. That's how you end up with the Zune. It's taking forever to image search for zune because everybody is too ashamed to upload a picture of their zune to the internet. It might as well have asked me "are you sure you wanted to search for zune? nobody has searched for that thing in like 6 years. Just get an ipod brojohn." I'm an apple fanboy. I love you Steve Wozniak. You're the only Steve I have left.
Oh man I have sort of missed this. Blogging in class is just not the same. I'm constantly worried that someone is watching me and judging me for still having a blog. But here in my bed listening to pandora with no pants on it just feels so right. I actually am wearing pants. Or am I? I am. I recently came across a book called F U Penguin thanks to my boy Black Doug. If you like this blog, you will probably like F U Penguin way more than you like this blog. It's like my blog but streamlined funniness and strictly about cute animals. So Meghan and Kristen, if you read this, get that book. and read the crap out of it. also F U Penguin is a website, and it swears more than this blog because the author of F U Penguin will not have patients in the future who are internet savvy. Or patients at all for that matter. I, on the other hand, will hopefully have patients and hopefully the internet will still exist in 3 years. otherwise I have no idea how I'm going to spend my future time. Not writing a blog? Psh. Don't think so. By the way, in case I haven't pushed this book enough, here is another time for me writing F U Penguin. Cut me a check BZA! I'm broke and I haven't been discovered yet so I don't have a book deal. Somebody owes me a book deal. I've been working not that hard at this blog for multiple months now. I should be rewarded for this somehow. Somebody get me a book deal STAT. Statim in latin means immediately. Don't believe me? Ask Ms. Roy, former Westwood High School latin teacher. I hope this is the first hit when somebody googles "Ms. Roy Westwood Latin" so I'm gonna go ahead and put it in quotes. I miss you Ms. Roy. I'm positive you won't remember me but I always really liked you and I hope you're doing well. Also I remember you liked Wessagusset Beach. I think it was a beach. "Ms. Roy Westwood Latin Wessagusset" hit me up google.
I'm not sure if I told you all what I was for halloween this year, but if I have not, here it is. I started off as Bill Nye, then decided I wanted to be juggalo Bill Nye, and then decided that juggalo facepaint was way too scary and went back to Bill Nye regular style. Dude, juggalos are scary. My boy Wes thought it was funny, but very few other people would have really got the reference and it would have been a real awkward night for me. You know the worst part of halloween? The 2 people at every party who still think that halloween is supposed to be about scary things. News flash bro. Halloween hasn't been about scary things since 1800's Mexico. It's about candy, funny costumes, and parties, just like every other holiday now. Not trying to see your weirdly realistic gory mask or listen to your creepy voice. Oh that was your real voice? You had throat cancer and now you talk like that all the time? Well I don't feel bad because you chose a really unfortunate mask to go with your otherwise not creepy but in this context pretty creepy voice. Shoulda seen that one coming. I'm getting a feeling I already kinda blogged about this. Welp, you already knew this is a free website and I'm not a journalist and I have no artistic integrity.
Guys. Thanksgiving is right around the corner. You know what that means? I get to massively overeat and not feet bad about it yay! I'm not sure if I've blogged about pie yet. I love pie. Wow I was weird in middle school. I used to watch those videos all the time. And eskimo bob. But that's besides the point. I honestly cant decide even a little bit what my favorite thanksgiving food is. For years I would not eat stuffing. Let me go on record saying I was an IDIOT. Stuffing is one of the greatest inventions ever. You know what happiness is? Seeing two giant pots in the line of food for thanksgiving and having them both filled with different flavors of stuffing. That's how awesome stuffing is. You can make it out of WHATEVER YOU WANT and it's still the greatest food around. And then there is cranberry sauce. And there is warm rolls. And there is gravy. Are you kidding me with gravy? Can anyone beat gravy? I mean we shouldnt even bother going to war anymore. Let's just send the other countries gravy and they will love us so hard. Let's take a look at countries we've been in wars with in the past. 1-England. You know when we started fighting with England? They wanted all our gravy and we wanted Boston Harbor tea or something. Then we beat them and we started selling them gravy and now it's cool. 2-Germany. They had all that schnitzel and no gravy. what's chicken without gravy? Just chicken. I'd be pissed too. 3-Russia. All those potatoes, no gravy. come on. who didn't see that one coming. It's history kids. Watch the history channel.
Alright well this has been great. I've missed you all telling me how funny I am. I hope you all enjoyed seeing the real life Santa last weekend. I look forward to talking at you via the internet again soon. Here's your haiku. And I would also like another installment of "Comment haikus by everyone else" because your haikus are always super funny.
F U Pengiun book
stuff white people like book deal
Drew is getting screwed
They call me the resurgent blogger
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Quick mid chirogames blog
So far we've played really bad and our goalie has had by everyone's best estimate around 1.7 concussions. I flipped out during a game for the first time in probably like 7 years. But the parties have been fun!
I ate a deli sandwich that was unrefridgerated for about 24 hours. Needless to say I had the pleasure of reswallowing some puke that had made it 2/3 of the way up my esophagus. So that was good. Sometimes you just gotta swallow puke. I could taste the jalapeños. Aw yeah autocorrect giving me a tilde. iPhone kills it.
Alright well I gotta go get myself together for our game today. They call me captain drew. Gotta go rally the troops
Play soccer today
Play better than yesterday
No swallowing puke
I ate a deli sandwich that was unrefridgerated for about 24 hours. Needless to say I had the pleasure of reswallowing some puke that had made it 2/3 of the way up my esophagus. So that was good. Sometimes you just gotta swallow puke. I could taste the jalapeños. Aw yeah autocorrect giving me a tilde. iPhone kills it.
Alright well I gotta go get myself together for our game today. They call me captain drew. Gotta go rally the troops
Play soccer today
Play better than yesterday
No swallowing puke
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Get ready people
I have officially taken all my tests before I leave for the great state of Florida for the fantastic event that we like to call chirogames. Oh baby. Oh baby. Oh baby. If you cannot tell I am excited. On the oh baby scale I am 3 excited. I've never used this scale before and I don't think it actually exists but I think that's a pretty high oh baby counter. This weekend is going to be super neato. That felt awful to type. But enough about me, let's talk about something less awesome. Aka anything else.
Today I had to take one of my exams in the makeup test room. There were three other people in the room, leaving me about a dozen desks to choose from. I choose the creaky, unbalanced one. And everybody knows that once you pick a seat you have I stay there no matter what. You can't be sitting down and moving around and stuff. What is this musical chairs? No. This is picking food out of a bowl. You can't be picking up all kinds of food and putting it back. You picked your bed, now sleep in it. I don't care that you picked the bottom bunk and Fuller is in top and he wets the bed. You're gonna stay there and you're gonna like it. Too many analogies. You get it. No backsies. Double stamp.
Today I wore my lucky Hawaiian shirt to school so that I would do well on my tests. What's that you say? You thought wolf shirt was my lucky shirt? What, a guy can't have more than one lucky shirt? What is this, Russia? I came from nothing and earned these lucky shirts. This is America and I'll have as many lucky shirts as I want. The bottom line hawaiian shirts are sick and they're worth wearing all the time. Super comfy. Super cool looking. My kids are going to hate me so much. I'm literally the most embarrassing person that you could ever be associated with. I apologize to all of you for myself. Nobody wears Hawaiian shirts except super obese people and cops. And the overlap in that venn diagram wears Hawaiian shirts with Hawaiian undershirts. Double hawaiian shirt. What does it mean? (meme reference)
I can't stop playing with iPhone. Does the smartphone honeymoon period ever wear off? When will I start to care about things other than iPhone? Will I ever stop callin it iPhone? Preliminary data says absolutely not. I'm doomed. Were all doomed and I'm first. At least I won't be the last person alive. That would be not that cool. But also really cool as long as you still had unlimited resources like my boy will smith in that zombie movie with the dog who saves his life and he's got all those rats and manakin friends and stuff. I really need a dog. Someone get me a medium sized playful dog that just wants to run around all the time. I need one. Now. But mainly in like 3 years.
Alright well I'm gonna go play some games on iPhone and ride out the rest of the day. I love the end of the tests. I get giddy and all school-girl-y. It's one of the many times a day that remind me that I'm really not fit to. Be a doctor because I'm basically a tall ten year old. Well. Here's your haiku because I'm an adult and adults appreciate art like poems and stuff.
X-rays and CT.
I'm qualified to read you
I also like farts
Expect an update from chirogames this weekend but don't expect it to be long, make sense, or even be comprehensible. See ya in Florida
Today I had to take one of my exams in the makeup test room. There were three other people in the room, leaving me about a dozen desks to choose from. I choose the creaky, unbalanced one. And everybody knows that once you pick a seat you have I stay there no matter what. You can't be sitting down and moving around and stuff. What is this musical chairs? No. This is picking food out of a bowl. You can't be picking up all kinds of food and putting it back. You picked your bed, now sleep in it. I don't care that you picked the bottom bunk and Fuller is in top and he wets the bed. You're gonna stay there and you're gonna like it. Too many analogies. You get it. No backsies. Double stamp.
Today I wore my lucky Hawaiian shirt to school so that I would do well on my tests. What's that you say? You thought wolf shirt was my lucky shirt? What, a guy can't have more than one lucky shirt? What is this, Russia? I came from nothing and earned these lucky shirts. This is America and I'll have as many lucky shirts as I want. The bottom line hawaiian shirts are sick and they're worth wearing all the time. Super comfy. Super cool looking. My kids are going to hate me so much. I'm literally the most embarrassing person that you could ever be associated with. I apologize to all of you for myself. Nobody wears Hawaiian shirts except super obese people and cops. And the overlap in that venn diagram wears Hawaiian shirts with Hawaiian undershirts. Double hawaiian shirt. What does it mean? (meme reference)
I can't stop playing with iPhone. Does the smartphone honeymoon period ever wear off? When will I start to care about things other than iPhone? Will I ever stop callin it iPhone? Preliminary data says absolutely not. I'm doomed. Were all doomed and I'm first. At least I won't be the last person alive. That would be not that cool. But also really cool as long as you still had unlimited resources like my boy will smith in that zombie movie with the dog who saves his life and he's got all those rats and manakin friends and stuff. I really need a dog. Someone get me a medium sized playful dog that just wants to run around all the time. I need one. Now. But mainly in like 3 years.
Alright well I'm gonna go play some games on iPhone and ride out the rest of the day. I love the end of the tests. I get giddy and all school-girl-y. It's one of the many times a day that remind me that I'm really not fit to. Be a doctor because I'm basically a tall ten year old. Well. Here's your haiku because I'm an adult and adults appreciate art like poems and stuff.
X-rays and CT.
I'm qualified to read you
I also like farts
Expect an update from chirogames this weekend but don't expect it to be long, make sense, or even be comprehensible. See ya in Florida
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
First actual iPhone blog.
I know I did a mini one on Sunday, but here is my first official iPhone blog. Here we go.
Last night I gave out what I think was my first red card. Here's what happened--a grown woman kicked another grown woman because she thought that a throw in should be for her team instead. That makes sense. No i liked it. Really. Get off my field that doesn't really have lines and where I don't really enforce the rules. Who kicks people? Are you jean Claude van damme? Steven segal perhaps? Bruce lee? Jackie chan? Lu King? Raiden? Do they call you the embarrassingly light shin kicker? No to all of those questions? Ok good. You can leave now.
This feels really weird. It feels like everyone is watching me blog even though nobody pays attention I anything I do. In ortho lab today I literally sat and did nothing for twenty minutes before somebody noticed. They call me silent but deadly. And not just because of my farts. Which happen to be kind of loud actually. Like that one in freshman seminar on that wood desk while Chris mod talked about his kids birthday party. Ha. Farts. Funny every time.
Alright well I think this is gonna be it for now. But I like where this is going. There's definitely a lot of potential for in class blogging. This could replace napping all together. They will call me tired eyes. Because I will never stop blogging. Here's your haiku
Bored in lecture hall
Napping is thing of the past
Blogging my face off
I don't think I can put links in here on the blogger app. I apologize. But not really because in sacrificing my academic career for you here. A little gratitude would be nice.
By the way I didn't get that dictator job. But they did pick another white guy. I guess I'm just not dictator material. Stupid Kim Jong il.
Last night I gave out what I think was my first red card. Here's what happened--a grown woman kicked another grown woman because she thought that a throw in should be for her team instead. That makes sense. No i liked it. Really. Get off my field that doesn't really have lines and where I don't really enforce the rules. Who kicks people? Are you jean Claude van damme? Steven segal perhaps? Bruce lee? Jackie chan? Lu King? Raiden? Do they call you the embarrassingly light shin kicker? No to all of those questions? Ok good. You can leave now.
This feels really weird. It feels like everyone is watching me blog even though nobody pays attention I anything I do. In ortho lab today I literally sat and did nothing for twenty minutes before somebody noticed. They call me silent but deadly. And not just because of my farts. Which happen to be kind of loud actually. Like that one in freshman seminar on that wood desk while Chris mod talked about his kids birthday party. Ha. Farts. Funny every time.
Alright well I think this is gonna be it for now. But I like where this is going. There's definitely a lot of potential for in class blogging. This could replace napping all together. They will call me tired eyes. Because I will never stop blogging. Here's your haiku
Bored in lecture hall
Napping is thing of the past
Blogging my face off
I don't think I can put links in here on the blogger app. I apologize. But not really because in sacrificing my academic career for you here. A little gratitude would be nice.
By the way I didn't get that dictator job. But they did pick another white guy. I guess I'm just not dictator material. Stupid Kim Jong il.
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