Hello loyal readers. I hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving with friends, family, and at least one person you really dont like. Before I even get into this blog, I'd like to give you the gift of a gif. The best gif. I call it the 2012 Jet Legacy. Jegacy if you will.
My favorite part is when he realizes the ball is gone and he just lets his face fall into the dirt at the very end. It's so much more than admitting defeat. It's embracing the suck. It's a full on "I hate, so much, the things I choose to be" moment. It's everything I love about sports in one moment. It's like that moment when they zoom in on the losing fans' faces, and you can just taste their tears through the TV and they're so salty and yet so sweet. It's that moment times 100. That moment times 100,001 because i like palindromes and misery. I think that will be the new motto of this blog. For too long it's been the most important thing you'll read all day. I think at this point in my blogging career, especially since this is by no means a daily blog anymore, PEOAWAR will now be known by our new motto and slogan: Palindromes & Misery. You're all welcome.
Brittany came to spend thanksgiving with my family this weekend, and she got to kind of see how I grew up, which was clearly a huge mistake. I know Brittany will be reading this blog soon, but I will go ahead and write some things on the internet about you anyway Blittany. You are welcome.
I'm pretty sure that after this weekend, Blittany thinks that my whole childhood and adolescence consisted of giving people high fives and being best friends with the entire state of Massachusetts. She attended my 5 year high school reunion, where I proceeded to introduce her to 12 people and forget to introduce her to the other 75 people she met. Then she met the rest of my family that she hadn't yet met on Thursday, and also managed to not nap once the whole day. Pretty impressive Brit. Especially considering your pedigree as a born, bred, and raised napper. Then, on Friday she attended my high school soccer alumni game, where she met just about everyone I have ever played soccer with and then an extra 25 people. She met just about everyone I ever talked to from age 6-17 this weekend and managed to not have her head explode. So here's to you, Ms. Entire-Town-Of-Westwood Meeter. You smiled and nodded all weekend, meeting all my old friends, my old friends parents, and even some people I don't even know myself. When my friends' parents told you I was a good catch, you pretended like you agreed with them, and didn't tell them how smelly my farts are or about this blog. So here's to you, Ms. Entire-Town-Of-Westwood Meeter, because thanks to you, I look like a normal human being with a girlfriend and social skills, and nobody noticed my scraggly beard at the alumni game.
By the way, I really like the acronym for this blog. PEOAWAR. It's like I invented a new RPG. And not the cool kind that blows stuff up. The kind that you waste 2 months of your life playing only to realize that internet points don't count and you haven't showered in 3 days, and also you have athletes foot. Not because you're an athlete, but because you've worn slippers for 2 weeks straight without socks on and it rained yesterday and you didn't bother to take your slippers off even though you went outside so that you could pay the pizza delivery guy, who won't even come within 5 feet of your front door because a) it smells weird b) there's a funny green glow coming from the next room and c) he thinks he might actually be saving your life by making you walk an extra 8 steps. Life is motion people. If you're not moving forward you're dying. Figuratively of course, because sayings are stupid and metaphors are for people who can't handle the truth (see my previous blogs when I had a metaphor of the day or something, I'm pretty sure that was a thing like a year ago).
Well I think that's a good place to stop. Shout out to Tim because he's emotionally unstable without a blog shoutout. Shoutout to the Jets for having 5 points against the patriots this weekend at some point. You may have lost the game, but you won the safety battle. And that counts for something. And that something is a box full of emptiness and sorrow. Here's your gif.
OH also the world is due to end in 25 days. Here's to a mundane last 3 and a half weeks to human existence. And by last 3 and a half weeks I mean probably another hundred thousand years or so, assuming we don't kill ourselves off, and we manage to cope with global warming and that kind of stuff. And you should all follow @yaboybillnye on twitter. Dude's hilarious.
Dude kills it. Here's your gif for real.
Brittany came to spend thanksgiving with my family this weekend, and she got to kind of see how I grew up, which was clearly a huge mistake. I know Brittany will be reading this blog soon, but I will go ahead and write some things on the internet about you anyway Blittany. You are welcome.
I'm pretty sure that after this weekend, Blittany thinks that my whole childhood and adolescence consisted of giving people high fives and being best friends with the entire state of Massachusetts. She attended my 5 year high school reunion, where I proceeded to introduce her to 12 people and forget to introduce her to the other 75 people she met. Then she met the rest of my family that she hadn't yet met on Thursday, and also managed to not nap once the whole day. Pretty impressive Brit. Especially considering your pedigree as a born, bred, and raised napper. Then, on Friday she attended my high school soccer alumni game, where she met just about everyone I have ever played soccer with and then an extra 25 people. She met just about everyone I ever talked to from age 6-17 this weekend and managed to not have her head explode. So here's to you, Ms. Entire-Town-Of-Westwood Meeter. You smiled and nodded all weekend, meeting all my old friends, my old friends parents, and even some people I don't even know myself. When my friends' parents told you I was a good catch, you pretended like you agreed with them, and didn't tell them how smelly my farts are or about this blog. So here's to you, Ms. Entire-Town-Of-Westwood Meeter, because thanks to you, I look like a normal human being with a girlfriend and social skills, and nobody noticed my scraggly beard at the alumni game.
By the way, I really like the acronym for this blog. PEOAWAR. It's like I invented a new RPG. And not the cool kind that blows stuff up. The kind that you waste 2 months of your life playing only to realize that internet points don't count and you haven't showered in 3 days, and also you have athletes foot. Not because you're an athlete, but because you've worn slippers for 2 weeks straight without socks on and it rained yesterday and you didn't bother to take your slippers off even though you went outside so that you could pay the pizza delivery guy, who won't even come within 5 feet of your front door because a) it smells weird b) there's a funny green glow coming from the next room and c) he thinks he might actually be saving your life by making you walk an extra 8 steps. Life is motion people. If you're not moving forward you're dying. Figuratively of course, because sayings are stupid and metaphors are for people who can't handle the truth (see my previous blogs when I had a metaphor of the day or something, I'm pretty sure that was a thing like a year ago).
Well I think that's a good place to stop. Shout out to Tim because he's emotionally unstable without a blog shoutout. Shoutout to the Jets for having 5 points against the patriots this weekend at some point. You may have lost the game, but you won the safety battle. And that counts for something. And that something is a box full of emptiness and sorrow. Here's your gif.
OH also the world is due to end in 25 days. Here's to a mundane last 3 and a half weeks to human existence. And by last 3 and a half weeks I mean probably another hundred thousand years or so, assuming we don't kill ourselves off, and we manage to cope with global warming and that kind of stuff. And you should all follow @yaboybillnye on twitter. Dude's hilarious.
YA BOY BILL NYE
there better be cities in space before i die im tryna live on the mooooon. lemme get dat MOON HOUSE!
Dude kills it. Here's your gif for real.
