I am writing a blog today because of a recent facebook post by my boy mattbnot. I told him, if you remind him, he will blog. And THE BLOGGER DELIVERS. Blog to all of your faces
Let's see, what has happened since my last blog besides EVERYTHING IMPORTANT EVER. But seriously only like 1 thing has happened. I went home and got to hang out with my niece. I will not be posting pictures onto this website to preserve her innocence. Although, most of this blog is incoherent and about poop, so at her current state the two are very similar. Poop and squirming around. And I must say, I have never been more impressed or psyched on something that does so little. Ever seen a baby's poop face? Do yourself a favor and go hang out with a baby and watch them poop. Hands down funniest thing I've seen in at least a month. Uber concentration and maximal contraction. And she even tucks her knees up toward her chest to get a proper trajectory. If that's not evidence that we share a common ancestor with monkeys, nothing is. Monkeys throw poop and humans try to poop cannon from birth. You can't explain that. Except you can. Evolution!
I feel like I should comment on the heat thunder game last night. Did Lebron really go out with cramps in the fourth quarter? I haven't read anything about it yet, but it seems as though he sat out the last 3 minutes of the game with cramps. First of all, basketball is so incredibly undemanding that it's shocking that anyone who has been casually playing for longer than like 2 weeks would cramp up. Secondly, CRAMPS? are you kidding me? Put down your pregame book and eat a freaking banana or something. And somehow he's healthy enough to knock down a spot up 3 one second and then completely incapable of playing 2 seconds later? Ok I just read that it really was cramps. That's absurd. Is he systemically hypoxic or does he have some sort of endocrine disease that would lead to some freak electrolyte deficiency? You get a break like every 3 minutes in your sport. How are you not in good enough shape to not get cramps? We talkin bout cramps. Not a sprain, not a strain. Cramps. See what I did there? I wish I could like Lebron so I wouldn't look like such a whiner, but come on. We talkin bout cramps. Mario Chalmers is good though. Dude's from alaska. Looks pretty alaskan to me, I guess.
I am going camping this weekend, and I am also going to shoot guns and go fishing. Jealous? You better be unless your name is Doug or Kelly, in which case you will be doing all those things with me and you have no need to be jealous. Also it's gonna be like 97 out this weekend, which gives me a 65% chance of dying by sunday. So thats pretty awesome. Add that to the guns, and I have a 66% chance of dying this weekend. Put these in the optimal order: Beers, camping, gun shooting, fishing, river floating, soccer. If you picked any order that put Beers after gun shooting, congratulations! You are still alive. If you picked the opposite of that, congratulations! You now know the answer to the timeless question, "what happens to people when they die?" and also you are dead so you can't tell anyone. Sucks dude. I love shooting guns. This is gonna be awesome. This weekend is gonna be awesome. Any time I'm not in lecture is awesome. Awesome. Time to google awesome and post the first picture that shows up.
It's already stupid hot around here. like 90's err day. And I'm gonna punish myself today by going for a run outside. but then I will be unpunished because I will be beering and pooling myself after. Oh summer semester, you saucy minx you. Punishing me with endless hours of lecture that paradoxically eventually end and then you unpunish me with beers and pool time. You get in my head and give me a lobotomy and then give me stem cell therapy to regenerate lost neurons in an experimental treatment that hasn't been shown to succeed except by anecdotal evidence. It's a story as old as time.
Let's see, what has happened since my last blog besides EVERYTHING IMPORTANT EVER. But seriously only like 1 thing has happened. I went home and got to hang out with my niece. I will not be posting pictures onto this website to preserve her innocence. Although, most of this blog is incoherent and about poop, so at her current state the two are very similar. Poop and squirming around. And I must say, I have never been more impressed or psyched on something that does so little. Ever seen a baby's poop face? Do yourself a favor and go hang out with a baby and watch them poop. Hands down funniest thing I've seen in at least a month. Uber concentration and maximal contraction. And she even tucks her knees up toward her chest to get a proper trajectory. If that's not evidence that we share a common ancestor with monkeys, nothing is. Monkeys throw poop and humans try to poop cannon from birth. You can't explain that. Except you can. Evolution!
I feel like I should comment on the heat thunder game last night. Did Lebron really go out with cramps in the fourth quarter? I haven't read anything about it yet, but it seems as though he sat out the last 3 minutes of the game with cramps. First of all, basketball is so incredibly undemanding that it's shocking that anyone who has been casually playing for longer than like 2 weeks would cramp up. Secondly, CRAMPS? are you kidding me? Put down your pregame book and eat a freaking banana or something. And somehow he's healthy enough to knock down a spot up 3 one second and then completely incapable of playing 2 seconds later? Ok I just read that it really was cramps. That's absurd. Is he systemically hypoxic or does he have some sort of endocrine disease that would lead to some freak electrolyte deficiency? You get a break like every 3 minutes in your sport. How are you not in good enough shape to not get cramps? We talkin bout cramps. Not a sprain, not a strain. Cramps. See what I did there? I wish I could like Lebron so I wouldn't look like such a whiner, but come on. We talkin bout cramps. Mario Chalmers is good though. Dude's from alaska. Looks pretty alaskan to me, I guess.
I am going camping this weekend, and I am also going to shoot guns and go fishing. Jealous? You better be unless your name is Doug or Kelly, in which case you will be doing all those things with me and you have no need to be jealous. Also it's gonna be like 97 out this weekend, which gives me a 65% chance of dying by sunday. So thats pretty awesome. Add that to the guns, and I have a 66% chance of dying this weekend. Put these in the optimal order: Beers, camping, gun shooting, fishing, river floating, soccer. If you picked any order that put Beers after gun shooting, congratulations! You are still alive. If you picked the opposite of that, congratulations! You now know the answer to the timeless question, "what happens to people when they die?" and also you are dead so you can't tell anyone. Sucks dude. I love shooting guns. This is gonna be awesome. This weekend is gonna be awesome. Any time I'm not in lecture is awesome. Awesome. Time to google awesome and post the first picture that shows up.
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| I also like the 80's |
The last thing I would like to touch on before I go back to lab to learn how to auscultate hearts like a big boy is the euro cup. Today is the first day withuot a euro cup game in almost 2 weeks. I already feel the withdrawal. What am I going to do once euro cup is gone? Talk to people during lunch? Pretend to care about gymnastics olympics qualifying? Guys, this isn't the winter olympics ok? There's no curling, so stop trying to hype it up. Wait a second. They have field hockey in the summer olympics. MEN'S field hockey. Count me in. But more about euro cup. Every lunch period we inevitably had about 15 soccer dudes watching the game, and then like 12 guys who have never played in their lives watching with us. Here is what I don't get about people who don't watch or play soccer. How do you have an opinion on soccer? How is it that people manage to have an opinion on things they know literally nothing about? I don't have an opinion on African fashion or southeast asian politics. I don't have an opinion on 26-dimension vs 10 dimension string theory. Do your brain a favor and stop trying to talk to me about why you don't like soccer. "I hate that they dive. Why don't they just shoot the ball? Why can't you just run the ball down the field by yourself? Why are they passing backwards? What's with those stupid haircuts?" Alright I'll give you that they have stupid hair. But that's more of a europe thing than it is a soccer thing. Asia is worse.
OK I have to go back to school now. Keep reminding me and I will keep blogging. Remember what that ghost said to Kevin Costner in the book that Field of Dreams spoofed, "Blog of Dreams": If you remind him, he will blog. Here's your gif.
finding a gif is always the hardest part
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| Asians. |
